How are you?

Just a simple, how are you?
I cannot answer.

I mean..
How am I really?

I cannot decided.

What are some of the standard answers?

Great!
Well, the thing is, I wouldn't say I am doing great exactly. Great! Sounds wayyy too good for me.. It's like.. everything is looking rosy and nice.. and I am all smiley and happy. Which well, I am not.

Not too good...
It isn't that negative as it sounds.. I mean.. not too good sounds sooo negative doesn't it? It sounds as if something bad happened, and things are not looking too up. It's like a prolonged period of baaaddd.. And sometimes.. it is not that I had been going through a rough patch.. it's just that.. I don't want to sound like everything is all rosy and perfect (see belows, not too bad..) But yet, opting for a not too good is a little too much.
Though sometimes when I say I am not too good, I really mean I am very very very upset.. But yet, it conveys a little of a balance in the answer. It's like.. though I am not too good.. I can't really complain.. That sort of feel. But really.. that is not the case most of the time..

Not too bad..
Sounds a teeeny bit too positive for my liking. It's like.. Not too bad!! Things are picking up and looking Great!. BUT BUT.. it ain't describing my situation either. I mean.. I am not doing that good.. you know what I mean? (Ok, I think maybe you don't.)

Ok lor..
Most of the time, this is the answer I'd give my friends, but I feel more compelled to give that answer. Because everytime a friend asks, "So how are you?" They tend to be a little on the impatient side.. and not want to wait for me to go through my entire thought process. Therefore, when I see/hear/sense the irritation, I'd go for the easy way out.. and head for a quick "ok lor". But that hardly describes what I feel. Perhaps it does... but I wish I could do better than a ok lor..
Once again, ok lor is tad bit positive. I mean.. though I am rather positive.. as in things are not thunder/lightning type of bad.. but the positivity in ok lor is abit too hard for me to take.. And worse, it sounds abit.. superficial.. Like if someone were to tell me he/she is doing ok lor.. that is almost like an insult to my question.. Cos I'd get the.. might as well don't answer feeling..
So even though ok lor is the closest to how I feel.. I wish I could sound a little bit more sincere..

I really don't know leh..
Sometimes, when I am bored with the standard ok lor... I'd go for this.. most of the time, when I say that.. It's usually really when I am upset beyond words.. and I just can't bring myself to say I am doing real bad. But this happens rarely. Or perhaps.. I only acknowledge that I am going through rough times when I have cried nonstop for 2 hours....
But I really like to say I really don't know when I am upset.. I have no idea why.
Even though I know.. I somehow would pretend I don't know.
Sigh.. I am truly the Queen of Denial.

Ok, I guess....
I think this has to be my ultimate answer.
I go with an ok, which is supposed to be positive. But yet, at the same time.. I would let the other party know that I am at the same time doubting myself.
This is different from the ok lor. Because I don't end it with a I guess. Which means.. when I say I am ok lor.. I really think perhaps I am ok.
But at this, I perhaps sense that I am not that ok. But I am just pretending to be ok?
Ok, this doesn't make sense.. And by now.. you would have realised "ok" is like my most misused word.
I use ok for everything under the sun.

How are you?
ok
How's work?
ok
How's your boss?
ok
How's the food?
ok
How's your headache?
ok
How's the photos?
ok
How's the sale?
ok
.
.
.

Let me not digressed.
So really, when I say I am ok, I guess...
It probably means I am not ok.
I am just hoping I am ok.
Complicated isn't it?
I like to think that I am a simple person..and very easy to read..
But if I am.. then why can't I answer a simple question like...

How are you?

** If you got this far, you would have realised that the writer is cranky, tired and suffering from fatigue. However, she would like to thank you for showing such immense interest in her crankiness and at the same time, truly applaud you. For you are more idle than she is.. and clearly more bored than she is.

Disclaimer: This is by no means, an accurate and comprehensive guide to understanding and loving the writer. Please do not by any means lift any part of the above from this entry, and publish elsewhere. More importantly, please do not use any part of the above entry against the writer during petty quarrels and arguements.
Such acts of disregard will not be tolerated.

Imagine

Imagine you wake up one day, with the sudden inspiration to buy toto...
You walk to the nearest Singapore Pools, and buy a quick pick that costs 50 cents.
You place the slip into your wallet and forgot all about the slip until a couple of days later.
You were doing your groceries shopping when you suddenly remembered the slip..
You take it out and check it online..

You realise, you were the sole winner of the 2.8 mil lottery.
The world starts crashing around you...
Then you start to wonder.. did it really happen.
With Samsung, it is not that hard to imagine.

--
In case you are so bloody dense.
I did not strike it big at the lottery.
I don't even buy toto for goodness sake.
I am just riding on the latest Samsung advertisements, which I think are way cool.
Especially the one, where the girl hands the guy a Samsung phone and runs off. Hahaha
Really got me imagining, if you know what I mean.

I met Lin today for her birthday dinner, like finally.
Brought her to the Shiseido sale before dinner as a surprise actually.
Cos, as we all know, she is totally into cosmetics.. and the Shiseido sale comprises brands like Ettusai and ZA.. so how can I not think of her, when I receive the mailer for the supposed-to-be-private sale.
Anyhow, my plan was to meet her, and just grab her up to the sale.. But she had something on later.. So I was compelled to let the cat out of the bag.
Hahaa.
In the end, I actually walk out of the sale with one item more than her.
I am hopeless.
Sigh.

Anyway, if you are interested in the sale.. which ends I think on Friday.. sms me, and I will forward you the mailer. Without the mailer, I think you cannot go in.
It is not really very worth going.. cos the queue is like.. bloody long.. (luckily we went early)..
And the stuff.. are not exactly dirt cheap. I expected it to be cheaper.

Ettusai oil control make up base : $10
Ettusai matt control gel foundation : $10
Shiseido cream duo eyeshadow : $13

That is all I bought from the sale... judging from the crazy ladies that went, I think the damage is rather minimal already.. there was some fanatics.. who bought like 6 bottles of God-knows-what.

I smell it.. can you?
The weekend is approaching..
It feels good.. to have 2.5 days of leave that you must clear in this month.
That gives me absolute power to choose the days in which I just want to stay home and rot.

--
In relation to the below entry..
Mr Carebear has a new theory.. and that is..
For the past year or so, I have been subtly transferring my fats to him.. And therefore, on the reverse now.. I have slimmer cheeks, and he has fatter ones.
Not that my cheeks are like very much slimmer now.. But his is definitely wayyyy bigger.
But I really like it that way.. sooooo pinchable and cuteee.. I likeeee..
















WAIT a minute.
My cheeks are still fat what..
What is your problem??

Oh by the way..
I snipped my hair. And its gross.
Please don't ask me what happened.. But I so totally miss my hairstylist.. She just had to resign and quit without telling me! Now I am stuck with.. no decent hairstylist once more.. and I hate trial and error ok?
Everyone in my company literally laughed at my fringe today.. and this is so not funny.

--
It makes my day.. when I made someone's day.
My boss was so pleased with the birthday present that I got for her.. she was almost in tears. And I am no kidding.
It's not the gift per se.
It was the thought I guess.
I bought her the Crabtree & Evelyn hand therapy lotion.. Something I know she really really wanted.. but didn't want to spend the money to buy for herself.
It is not that cheap alright..
But because she is boss, and she is going to write my appraisal.. I think it is a worthwhile longterm investment.
And it helps too, that she is so nice to me now..

And Siew Lin, I hope I made your day!
Though it was nothing much la.. But I still manage to get you the Tiffa black eyeliner (with gold sparkles) from Taiwan, and help you buy the Kate Curl Memory Mascara hor..
Ain't she such a baddddd influence?

How much is that Bobby in the window..

This is Bobby.
Bobby is a shihtzu..
He has only one eye.
He had the other removed, cos it could have exploded, causing alot of distress to Bobby, as well as to the people around.
And I wonder how's Bobby now.
















Another one of my old pictures.
See the difference?
See how his cheeks become so f-a-t now?

His friends: 你给他吃了什么, 把他养到白白胖胖
...
So how do you want me to reply?

Fight Club

We had a fight.. literally.
















These are my bruises on my left arm.
















And these are his scratches.

If you watched fight club, you would realise it is one helluva cool movie.
Not that we were trying to emulate scenes from fight club.. But it's the same every weekend.
We'd wake up, either Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and start messing around.
Rather, I'd start kicking around..
And there we'd have all the fight wounds.

Something is terribly wrong with me.
I've been having constant headaches.
And when I say constant, I meant almost daily.
Freaking me out.
He finally begins to agree that something is wrong with me.
The frequency of my headaches.. as well as its intensity is about to kill me off.
Then again... every time I visit the doctors.. they'd just give me that..
Ya ya, so how many days MC do you need look
Anyhow, my answer is infinite days ok.

Lazy days

Am I lazy because inherently I am born with lazy genes.. or does my surroundings (and the people around) make me lazy?

I can't help being lazy.. when I have a huge comfortable queen sized bed to roll around in..
I can't help being lazy.. when my aircon plus my quilt comforter makes a tempting pair.
I can't help being lazy.. when the sun outside is almost blazing (or I dream it to be), and insides are way cooler.
I can't help being lazy.. when in Singapore there is hardly anything to do on weekends but. shop.
I can't help being lazy.. when I wanna save money for my trip to Florence, Italy.
I can't help being lazy.. when I am being influenced by another to be lazy..

I really can't help it you know?
As much as I have grown sick of this routined weekends.. We can't seem to break free from it.
It's always.. comfortably the same.
If you ask me to wake earlier than 12pm on weekends, I would cry till no end.
Yet, at the same time.. I hate doing the same old stuff all weekend!
Though this weekend was slightly different.. It was only just the 2 of us..
But still.. it's almost routined.

Now I just can't help but want to sleep in till the evening on this lazy Sunday afternoon.

But, I've gotta drag my ass down to his granny's place.

Find me back

Taking a hiatus, to find myself back.
I've lost me, and I reckon it's time to search for her back once more.

Hermione Granger

If I am Hermione Granger..

- I would change my name to something cooler and easier to pronounce, like Ninny Granger.
- I would brew the meanest love potion and feed them to Kwon Sang Woo and Jay Chou, ala Lord Voldermot's mother to Tom Riddle Sr.
- I'd smooch Harry Potter over Ron Weasley, anytime.
- I'd hex Severus Snape and risk detention, or worse expulsion. (I'd give him pink hair and granny robes)
- I'd pick up Quidditch, cos it is so darn cool.
- I'd take pictures of myself in wizard robes e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y, cos I think wizard robes are so nice, really.
- Hex Draco Malfoy and family. (I'd give them luminous orange hair and caveman clothes)
- Leave the house elves alone and disband SPEW. Or rather, I'd redirect SPEW into a rock band instead.
- Brew a slimming potion that would make me slim 24-7
- Hell, I would go for a major transformation
- Turn that fat-ass carebear into a pig, cos he certainly sounds like one now, snoring in lalaland.
- Keep a dragon as a pet, afterall dragon blood's magical
- Keep a unicorn as a pet as well, cos it's blood is also magical
- Live happily ever after with Jay Chou and Kwon Sang Woo.

So Ginny Weasley is prettier, and much cooler. But Hermione is smarter.. So I'd rather wish I am Ninny Granger.

I finally got my lazy ass off to upload some of the pictures I took with my hp into my comp.
Ain't this cute???
I meant Jielun in that small little postcard.
It's my favourite pic of him can. He got this very cheeky grin on his face.. Making him sooo bloody desirable... Like you just wanna cup his face and give him a great big kiss.

Ok, little carebear looks not bad too.
He was trying to simulate the exact same "feeling".
But.. just not quite there yet huh...
Anyhow.. please check his hair out. Don't you think I make a not bad hairstylist?
Not that I trimmed his hair. But I styled it can?

Compare it with this..





















Don't you think his hair looks better under my expert hands?
I mean check out his flat lifeless hair... Under my care, it looks more stylo ain't it?

Don't ask me what he is shouting about.





















Me: Stop shouting can????

(He shout, I also must shout.. cannot lose out)
















Another one of those backdated pic from my handphone.
We just had to take pics of our outfit.
The above was taken on 11/Nov, we went out shopping for Alicia's birthday present.
















This was taken on 5/Oct. I can't remember what we were out for..
But can you see the above two freak incidents?
Twice, we were caught with the same colored top.
Not once, but t-w-i-c-e.
Swear to God, we didn't plan it.
I mean honestly.. who would plan this kinda thing?
(okok, so we have done it before.. but truly we didn't plan it ok)

Henceforth, everytime I know I am meeting my alter-ego (ashpixie) I choose a more uncommon colored top.

Perhaps the next time people ask if we are sisters, we'd say we are twins.
--

Had dinner with my boss and an ex-colleague at Spaggedies yesterday.
Thank goodness it was my boss' treat in the end.. I am so totally broke already.
I owe my loanshark parents alot of money.. (though I am still trying to runaway from the credit card debts).
Oh wells.
Casual dinner with my boss was so really weird.
When earlier in the day, she just rebuked me over some small little matter.
But I guess, time is running out on us. Afterall, our company would be closing down in 5 months.

I am so ultra fucking tired.
Just spent the entire day outdoors today.
I honestly can't remember the last time I actually went out in the sun... and I realise I totally miss it!
I should go pick up some sport like real soon.

Tennis anyone?

(dengue) fever

I thought I had dengue fever yesterday.
Real scary thought.
With a previous mosquito bite.. Sudden queasiness in the stomach and weakness all over my body..
I convinced myself I was going to die.

All thanks to the 细心照顾 that I received from carebear.. My fever subsided.
I was burning up with a fever so high I think you could have fried an egg on my face.
And to think, he thinks its pretty when the cheeks are so flushed red.
I'd give up the fever for pale white face anytime.
1 panadol and a cold wet towel was all it took.. to chase those dengue fever calls away.
Ok la.. and a few hugs and kisses.
When the fever subsided.. I had to finally abandon those fearful thoughts..
Bah.
So I don't have dengue.. and I am not going to die afterall.

My parents are finally gonna be home tomorrow!
YAY!
And I hope they bring me loads of goodies from BKK.
I can be totally lazy once more.
Yipppeeeee.........

Adam Chen

My newfound love.. Adam Chen.
I've been watching a tad too much of TV lately.

Man oh Man
Thursdays, 8pm.
Do catch it.

With Adam Chen, Tay Ping Hui and Jeff Wang.. It is hard to give that a miss I tell you.
Especially when they feature Adam Chen in board shorts wakeboarding.
That is like enough to make me dream happy dreams on Thursdays.
I've never really given Adam Chen a second look. I always thought he was like just another actor trying to make it big in the really small Singapore.
Till I flipped eighdays, till I saw that episode with him wakeboarding.
He's got a nice bod can.
And he so totally can rival Ljungberg lor.
Really.

Ok, perhaps on second thoughts, Pan Wei Bo might not be too bad of a choice either.
Afterall, I shook his hand and saw him up close.
-deep sigh-

I caught Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on Friday. Though I was so frickin tired. I still manage to pull through the entire movie without sleeping.
The movie is amazing.
Then again, Goblet of Fire is my favourite of the entire Harry Potter series. So I think it's only natural that I think this movie is the best thus far.
At least it didn't disappoint as much as Prisoner of Azkaban did.

1. Harry Potter ain't as cute as I remembered.
2. Dumbledore is disappointingly fierce in the movie. He came across as unfeeling, unlike the kind gentle man we read about in the books. I mean, Harry is really suppose to be close to Dumbledore.. But in the movie.. It's almost like they had a normal principal-student relationship.
3. Victor Krum is boring. I expected him to speak. But he didn't really. I imagined Victor Krum to be this thin, long haired and sullen looking guy. But instead.. he looks pudgy and boring.
4. I thought the Fleur was suppose to be part veela... so where's that silver hair?
5. I really wanted to see the veelas perform before the Quidditch match and watch the guys go crazy about them..
6. Lord Voldermot is.. ugly can? Where's his nose??
7. Maxime is.. weird.. really weird.
8. Where's Percy, Charlie and Bill? Did I miss them?

Nonetheless, I enjoyed the movie.
It thrilled me more than PoA did.

--
Believe it or not..
I actually vacuumed and mopped the floor.
Plus, wash the clothes.
Not that I've suddenly become so domesticated..
But I didn't really have a choice.
It's either I do all that.. or risk having my parents scream at me when they return from BKK.

Life's unfair.
I had to do all that, whilst my brother gets away with watering the plants.
I mean.. What is so bloody difficult about watering the plants?
Bah.

I spent close to $100 on retail therapy today.
After a week of built-up stress and boredom.. I guess it all broke loose today.
And I just couldn't help but splurge on.. nonsense.
Let's not deepen the depression by discussing what I've bought. Instead..
I think I should just pretend that none of that happened today.

(pretends)

Memories / 2004

Blue Mountains, Sydney 2004
















Great Ocean Road, Melbourne 2004
















St Hilda's, Melbourne 2004




















Yunnan 2004















Yunnan 2004
















Graduation Gala 2004

I think 2004 treated me better than 2005.

Shoutout

I don't know why.
But there's something inside my heart bursting to be let out.
I know I just have to say it.

Go Fuck Yourself.

I swear to you I have no idea who it is directed to.
But I have this crazy urge to just do a shoutout.

Stop giving me weird looks.
I am not mad.
..
Not yet.

Like a dream

Yesterday night felt like a dream.
Not that I had a spectacularly good time.
It felt like a dream like literally.

A message and a call.
Appearing at my door.
The whole episode seemed surreal.
Almost like Taiwan once more.
Where I fell asleep in his arms in front of the TV.
But at least I woke up happy.

Either that..
Or fatigue is getting to me.

I should so really be sleeping now.
Because we'd be catching a one am movie.
I need to get my dose of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire.
I mean..
Its HARRY POTTER lor.
Been waiting for this since like lightyears ago.
--

A colleague (that I don't particularly like) bumped into her ex boyfriend today.
So I had the opportunity to witness the whole scene.
Right from the beginning where they walk pass each other and exchange a few glances.
Somehow, when we got back up to our office.
She almost-nearly hyperventilated.

And I wonder.. why this never happened to me.
Why do I never ever bump into ex boyfriends?
Because I would so love to.
Isn't it great.. To just bump into an ex.
And give that all haughty look?
That, I am still frickin happy with or without you look.

On second thoughts, I think I should add, I do not wish to bump into all of my exes.
Just one.
But my colleague..
She did none of that..
Instead, she hyperventilated.
And related the entire tale to almost 1/2 the office.
Ok, so my office is rather small.
But really, don't you think you are over-reacting a little?
I don't know.. perhaps I am not a very open person.
But when it comes to matters close to my heart, relationships, boyfriends..
I tend to prefer to keep things to myself..
And not go round telling colleagues.
Perhaps I am not as close to my colleagues.
But really.. would you go round telling your bosses about your "jerk" ex?

Let me sidetrack a little.
But I truly hate people who use the word jerk.
Because it sounds so.... juvenile.
So.. ah lian.
If he is just such a baddy.
He is either a bloody fat ass.
Big piece of shit.
Enormous lump of lard.
But..
Jerk.. sounds so.. not quite there.

Anyhow.. after the first wave of hyperventilation subsided.
I thought that would be it.
Instead..
Her jerk of an ex called and sms.
And asked..
Was that you? You're looking good.
Ok, so she used the word jerk once more.
Well well.
As I've said.
Jerk is not a word that I'd like to use.
He is a bloody bastard, that deserves to have infections in his anus, with huge pus-oozing boils.

So I do not really like that colleague of mine.
But I have limited tolerance for males who portray despicable characteristics like that.
I mean.. honestly.. what the fuck are you thinking?
Don't dump a girl and call back some time later to say she look good.

1. You are just admitting you made a huge mistake in dumping her by saying that.
2. You are making yourself look bad
3. You are apparently telling a lie, she ain't looking good.
4. You inflate the ego of others on purpose.
5. You obviously are toying the feelings of another.

Guys like these should die a horrible death.

Thankfully thus far.. I've had reasonable exes.
Ok, maybe cos I've only been dumped once (or was it the other way round).
But still..

Anyhow.. they talked nothing other than that for the entire day.
She enlisted the entire army of colleagues to help her decide if she should reply to the message.
What the fuck.
Can't think on your own?
Relationship is a personal thing. If you open it up to the entire world.
Then, are you, or your friends having a relationship with that guy?

Duh~

Thinking / Planning / Wants / Needs

1. I want to go Hong Kong Disneyland
I thought after going Taiwan.. I would be like.. contented.
But.. honestly.. Taiwan left me itching for more.
Afterall, when you are travelling.. you spend all your time doing literally nothing, nothing stressful that is.
All you do.. is eat, sleep, shop.
THAT is life.

And I am like officially fascinated with Disneyland now.
Saw it on TV just now..
It's Mickey Mouse leh..
Ok.. perhaps I wasn't born in the time where pokemon is the in-thing.
But Disneyland had always been fantasy ok.
Seeing Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse got be all excited somehow.. I have no idea why.
And that beauuuutttiful castle.
I mean.. Isn't that a dream come true?

2. I want to take leave and sleep all day.
If only the days I am on leave.. the weather is as good as today's.
I woke up to grey skies, heavy rain.
I mean.. common.. it is a sin to work on days like that..
Too beautiful to snuggle in and just snore till the late afternoon lor.
Every weekend morning should be like that.

3. I need to save money
A quick math had me stumped.
I spent $2400 on travelling expenses alone this year.
Taiwan+Bangkok+Tioman.
Though I would like to add, the experience makes it all so darn worth it..
But.. 2.4k is no joke leh... I seriously could have put that money to better use..
I could buy like 3 gucci bags can (ok, so this is not better use)..
But really.. with 2.4k I think I could almost have gone to some part of Europe.
But be really merry in Australia.

Maybe I should scrape the Hong Kong plans to save whole heartedly for Europe... Cos I so wanna go Prague.
Been reading about couples going to Prague for their wedding pics.
AND I SO WANNA GO.
Not to take wedding pics la.
Just to go and take uber cool pics.

4. I am thinking of an mini Xmas party.
Actually I had this idea when Lin wanted to have a birthday party.. and she told me some of her ideas.
Since she did not have a birthday party in the end (I seriously think we are wayyy too old for this).
I was actually thinking of having a mini xmas gathering..
Riding on Lin's plan la.

In case you are wondering what the plan really is..
I shall disclose now to get feedback. But let me emphasize.. this plan was thought of by Lin and I.
So I would truly appreciate if everyone and anyone respects it, and not pass it off as their own (somewhere else).
Once bitten, twice shy.

I can't remember who thought of what.
But someone said KTV, another said costume party.
And linking that together..
We'd have a costume party at a KTV la.

Dress up as a singer.. Turn up at the KTV, and sing a song of that singer you dressed up in.
Jolin Tsai (hmmm)
Pan Wei Bo (hmmmm...)
SHE (hahaha)

Well. it's just an idea.
Afterall..
I am declaring it now..
That I am no longer going to help plan for birthdays from next year on.

But seriously.. After a year long experience.. I realise it is just not an easy task to get everyone of us out to sit together and have dinner.
Worse.. when we have to settle on presents.
After each birthday.. I would tell myself.. the next one, I am not going to plan it.
I am not going to call everyone out. I am not going to bother. I shall wait for some other to plan.
But each time.. when nobody does.. I just feel so bad.
It's somewhat unfair. If we celebrated for friend A and did nothing for friend B.

I decided to take up the task of Alicia's birthday.. Because she is afterall my friend for twenty odd years.
And in those twenty years, the only celebrations I remembered were those when we were kids.

After Alicia's birthday.. I thought I was going to wash my hand in the golden basin.
But but but..
Not very fair.

So, in my feeble last attempt...
Here it is:

If you are a friend of Siew Lin.. and wish to celebrate her birthday with her for a small dinner. Please respond.
I will be meeting her next Saturday for dinner to celebrate belatedly her birthday for her. And in case you are a friend of Siew Lin's but are clueless to when her birthday is (see below).
I have already bought her, her birthday present. Therefore, if you are a friend of Siew Lin's and wish to buy her a little something for her birthday.. Please do so on your own.

If you are my friend.. and wish to meet up for the last mini gathering that I will so feebly attempt to organise. Please also do respond.
Conditions do apply.
(you have to be a friend of Siew Lin's)

If you are Siew Lin, you do not have to respond.

It is only right.. if as a friend.. you attempt to organise at least one other friend's birthday celebration in a year.
Search your conscience deep deep hor.
And I beeseech those guilty ones to start finding out who's birthday is next.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Siew Lin!!!
I am sorry the wishes came soooo late.
But hey.. I dedicate an entry to your birthday hor..

I kept thinking since last night..
What is it with the 17th of November.
I knew it was something.
But what thing??? I kept wondering.

That lousy memory.
Anyhow.. I hope you like the liquid eyeliner with black glitter all the way from Taiwan..
I had to drag Barbie around Taiwan to look for it. Look through all the cosmetics shops for it hor ..
(and yes, I bought one bottle myself too)

We'll meet up for dinner some time next week ok?

Boys Guys Men

This is the father of all pictures.
Epitome of the male species.

Check it out.
I can't walk pass CK at Citylink without giving that poster two glances.
Don't you think he is just frickin hot.

1. Check out the body. Check it ouuuuttt..
2. Focus on the areas in white. Now, don't you there is just something so sexy wrong about it?
3. His gaze his gaze! It totally melted me. I mean.. when I first saw the poster, I just couldn't help but feel my cheeks flush.. I mean.. his eyes.. seem to speak to you.. electrify you can.. (not because he is half naked and looks like a frickin Greek God)
4. The tattoo.. Nothing fancy. But still oh so sexy.. not bengish just .. perfect.

Do I seriously need to give you 5 reasons to love the pic? Because I am over the hill with just 4. This picture, he totally awesone.
Anyhow.. If you truly need it
5. It is Freddy Ljunberg soccer player from Arsenal.. so technically, this guy earns big bucks.. not like some one-time-famous CK model.. He is a soccer player ok.
Bahaha..

Stop calling me shallow. I can hear it from here.

Weather Girl

I swear the weather's gonna kill me.
The hot sun was blazing this afternoon when I went out for lunch.
At the end of a long day.. just when I left office, it rained on me.
Instead of waiting around aimlessly for the rain to stop. I brave the rain and walk back.
Big big mistake.
The head is aching up once more.
Darn it.

Thankfully, so kind guy sheltered me with his huge red umbrella all the way to my MRT.
Felt kinda bad.. cos I didn't bother asking where he was headed to. I just took it for granted that he would shelter me.

Been pissed with my boss for the past few days.
Love-hate relationship with her really.

I can't wait for the weekend! I must catch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire this weekend. I don't bloody care...

Till then..
It's work work bloody work.

Growing old

.. is different from growing up.
Growing old.. you change physically, no more mentally.

Mummy, please stop growing old.
Daddy, please be young once more.

Sometimes I wonder.. am I spending too little time with them.
Everytime I look closely, they seem to have aged.. abit too much for me to be comfortable with.

Beauty for you

I usually don't like to harp about the talk of the town.
But this had me interested for quite a few hours.
Scroll abit and take a good read.

The first time I read her blog.
I was so totally captivated.
Not by the witty entries.
But bimbotically.. I was captivated by her sheer beauty.
Really.

It is one of my rare few times... that I am totally caught tongue-tied.. and sooo darn envious.
So much so, I scrolled almost her entire blog just to view her pictures.. and wonder..
Just how can someone be this greek goddessly pretty?
I mean.. face it.
Chiling Lin is not even 1/2 as pretty as her can.

Just the very next day.. news of her alleged plastic surgery surfaced.
Or maybe it long surfaced.. but I was just never in the loop...
And thus, like many other girls.. I felt a renewed sense of hope.
The rainbow arcs over our skies once more.
Maybe perhaps I've got hope.

Ahhh..
But then again..
On second thoughts.. I'd rather stick to the old adage, that beauty comes from within.
It's not about how you look on the outside.
But how you feel on the inside.
So.. say.. you feel like a witch on the inside.
Then, you'd look like a witch on the outside.

So as much as I would yearn to go under the knife to get bigger boobs, nicer nose, bigger eyes, slimmer face etc.
I will perhaps still not feel good on the inside. Which is what matters most isn't it?

How we all like to agree.
But But But...
One can never be contented..
We are all governed by superficiality.

For the first time, when I view her blog..
I am not as much appalled by the number of pictures she post.
Because half the time, I'm literally checking her out.
Plastic surgery or not.. she is gorgeous.. No one can deny that.
And yes, she has the absolute right to flaunt it.
So unless you are as pretty as Dawn Yang/Yeo.. stop posting pics for heaven's sake.

--

Caught The exorcism of Emily Rose on Friday.
Well, the only thing I got out of that movie.. were the trailers before it.

Now, I am soooooooooo looking forward to Memoirs of a Geisha and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Bring it on.

Did I ever go on strike about the movie prices hike?
I can't seem to recall ever doing it.
hmmmm...

Random Sunday Thoughts.

A few years ago.. a certain Ashpixie introduced me to blogging.
"Try it! Try it! It's fun"

I reluctantly signed up for my first virgin account (the now defunct www.xanga.com/fairystars)
It took me quite a while, for the buzz to set in. I wouldn't say it was love at first sight, it was somewhat cumulative.
I read about blogging later in the papers, before deciding to give it a try.
I realised I had a great many things I've always wanted to write down somewhere. Thoughts, that need a home to rest.

Friends at school started to have a xanga account (courtesy of pixie),and there, it grew more interesting I guess. From a lone blogger, we became almost like a community.
It was fun, I remember.
How we'd innocently blog, read blogs etc.
The furore, I remember.

As I became more involved in blogging, I realise it was therauptic in more than just one way.
It became my outlet. Perhaps my only outlet.
Words that I can't bring myself to say, were conveyed in my blog.
I've learnt more about myself through my blog than I ever did in aimless self reflection.
I loved my blog.
Through it, I laughed and shed tears.

I closed my very first blog. Because I wanted a chapter of mine to close together with it.
Sometimes, I do think about it.. and wonder if the lost memories were a pity.
For together with the bad, there were some good. And afterall, a part of my growing stemmed from that blog.
Then again, I hate to regret, and though I probably could have it restored, I decided against it.
In some ways, it is just not healthy.. to keep undoing the things that you've done.
And so I left it as that.

I shifted so many times now I somewhat lost count.
I've abandon some.

I am happy, at where I am now.
Because I've got a false sense of anonyomity, something which I never had in my 2nd (also defunct) blog.

But the feelings I have towards blogging now, and the feeling I once had a few years back is no longer the same.
I use my blog for far too many things, many of which I am not proud of.
And thus, the theraputic-ness (if there is such word), have greatly reduced. So much so, there's no joy in blogging anymore.

Will I find that same joy once more?
I can hardly say it.
Because the joy have already diminished.

I can't remember when it was, that the joys of blogging started to diminish.
But I do know.. there are far more repercussions now.
Suddenly.. blogging is just not another mindless thing one does. Overnight, the notion of blogger's responsiblity crops up.
Now, we have to be mindful of what we blog about.
To me, that just kills the very fundamental essence of blogging.
It was fun for me, because blogging is just yet a mindless activity, for yourself.
Why should we have to be mindful about what is written, who reads it, and how it affects others?
Growing up (with the responsibilites) is already hard as it is.
To have to dictate our lives and be responsible about it at the same time.. that is just a very big hassle.

Why not shift the responsibility to the readers instead.
We should bloggers have to take responsibility for what is written in our own blogs? Why can't readers be responsible and rational.
The bloggers that were convicted and sent to jail.
They did not exercise their responsbility as a blogger and as a Singaporean in a multi-racial and harmonious country.
Their unthoughtful remarks could have sparked a racial war in a country that prides itself over their established racial harmony.
But why, must bloggers be responsible for what they write? Why must we regulate and restrict and hinder freedom of speech? Why can't the readers be given the responsibility to be able to rationally dissect the crap that is found in thousands of blogs emerging in every corner of Singapore.
Why can't readers themselves think, and understand that everyone is entitled to their own views, entitled to their own perspectives towards the many topics that have been talked about.

You know why it is the responsiblity of bloggers?
Because our society is as such.
We have been overly protected.
Shielded from the many harmful truths about the real world.
We have been coerced to all have the same views as those governing us.

- Our ministers have insanely fat pay checks.
- Our pay checks are heavily shrinking
- We can no longer stand up for ourselves and what we passionately believe in.
- Observing order.
- Chewing gums have to go, Cigarettes get to stay

We call ourselves a democratic society.
You don't know democracy until you've been to one.

When was the last time a strike was held?
When was the last time we fought for something we strongly believed in.
When was the last time we opposed the governing body?
Do we really have a diversity in our society?

The only diversity we know of, is existence of more than 2 races, which by now is not uncommon in other countries.
But I believe, other countries will do far better than ours, and other countries will be a better country to live in because they are a truly democratic society.
People are able to speak up, without having to worry about responsibility.

Have it not be proven before?
That we are too straight-thinking?
The lack of diversity cranks us up?
If you live in a relatively new HDB flat with a ridiculous bomb shelter, you'd know.
Because the ridiculous bomb shelter was designed by a scholar working for HDB.

Right.. the fact that nobody questioned that ridiculous design/idea fazes me.
Because, since God knows when, almost every one on the streets have been ridiculing it.
Yet, no one in HDB ever question that? Or found that a pure waste of time?
C'mon.

And even if nobody in HDB ridiculed it..
Did we citizens protest against it fervently enough?
Not that I know of.
Because, in Singapore, nobody goes on strike. Nobody stands out to question the governing body.Nobody can, and nobody will oppose the governing body.
Because fighting for something we believe in is wrong.
That is what we've been taught.

Creativity will never thrive in our society.
Building 20 esplanades is not going to make us all suddenly interested in the arts.
Emphasizing on creativity and out of the box thinking in schools is downright ridiculous.
Take time to step back and reflect.
Do you really think that by emphasizing that in schools, we'd all morph into creative individuals?
We are force-fed into thinking we need to be creative.
We look at creativity as a solution, not a gift or option.
You either be creative or you lose out.

Because of this emphasis on being creative.. everyone struggles to shine. Everyone wants to be creative.
But how are we ever going to be creative anymore? When everyone else is also creative?
How are we going to be creative, when we can not and probably will never be able to shake off the stigma of society?

Us Singaporeans are a sad lot.
Me included.
Sometimes I find myself pursuing totally irrelevant things in life.
I'd like to blame it on my environment, well, I do.
But really, who can blame me for that?

We view and term success with being financially capable.
Success is monetary linked.
What is success?
Huge bungalow, fancy car, enough blings-blings to brighten up your house, nice enviable clothes, enough cash in the bank to feed a child in Cambodia through till his teenage years.
Is that success to you?
To many, that is.

I can't say I've never dreamt of all that.
Life sometimes get hard.. and I want to just live the life of luxury.
But more often than not. I always wonder when and if I've finally attained all of that.. would I think I am successful? Would I be hungry for more, like the many of us are doing?

Singaporeans are not poor.
But how many rich fellas out there you know are contented?

Money is a symbol of success. But money is not success.
You are successful, when you are happy. Truly happy and contented with life.
Success have to be intangible.
Because then, when you feel it and you know you've felt it and have been touched by it. You'd be happy and know you are successful.
On the other hand, when you finally buy your first car, you'd dream of your bungalow, you'd want to keep increasing the figures in your bank, you'd never have enough. Because you keep trying to be more successful. The appetite for success becomes insatiable.
But the sad real truth is that.. you'd never be successful in that term. Because till the day you breathe your last.. you'd still want more.
When will enough be enough?

After days of gloom.
Hours of reflection..
And hundreds of questions later.

I've to be appreciative and say I had been happy with what I have done to my life so far.
I pursued what I've held close to my heart.
I work for satisfaction, not for money.
I live for passion, not materials.

Let's just hope I remain like this for the years to come.
And hope that the society does not make me to be yet another clone.
A clone without purpose.

General Knowledge

1. Do real boobs stay firm when you are lying down flat on your back?
Carebear: Accordingly to my very professional opinion, it is known for a fact that real boobs do not stay firmly like oranges when you are lying down flat. It will look too firm and fake.

2. Where do we buy stamps from in Singapore, other than the post office
Carebear: (stumped) I have no idea.

--
It makes you wonder..
General knowledge makes or breaks a man.

Issues

I can't get to sleep.
I never could when I am very upset.
I realised, I just cannot sleep when I am unhappy, when my heart is disturbed and heavy.

We humans are all in search of a life partner.
One with whom we could and would spend the rest of our lives with.
Waking up, and seeing that someone.
Going to sleep and seeing that someone...
Sometimes it fazes me.
Won't we ever get sick of this life partner?
Isn't it just very very annoying when you have to wake up to that same person for the rest of your life?
Well, perhaps that someone sleeping next to you would change over the years.. and so I believe, every couple of years/months/days.. you'd find something new about that person.. because that person have changed.. and you'd discover something new about him/her that you never did before.
Thus, to me my life partner must be someone interesting. Someone who can keep me interested even after 10, 20 years.

I think I have digressed.
Or perhaps I am still right on the topic.. I don't know.
Because I forgot what my topic is all about.
I am still so majorly upset... so upset.. I feel so screwed.

Just when you think life is picking up.. everything falls.

I go back to work with a shitload of stuff.
So initially I was complaining about counting down the time, so I can leave office.. Now, time runs out on me.
Not that I am complaining that I have too many things to do.
Well, I do have too many things to do now.. and I am not complaining. Because that is what I actually hoped for. And I am somewhat glad with this new workload.
But.. I've been slacking for close to 3 months now.
The stress makes my chest heavy.. and I struggle to breathe.
I am so overloaded with things.. with so many fucking emails to read.. It's like.. I've been thrown to choppy seas.. and the waves keep bringing me down.. whilst I keep struggling to keep my head up.
Many times in the day.. I'd sit at my desk and think..
What the fuck, what should I do next?
And I get so worried about thinking into detail what I should be doing.. because.. thinking equals to time wasted.
And so I panic.
This happens like every 2 hours or so.
I seriously have alot of stuff to do.. but I just don't know which to do first.
And I keep a mental list of things that I am supposed to do.. But.. at the end of the day.. after work.. I just start wondering if I actually did leave anything important out.

I am not someone who is very in tune with myself and my inner self so to speak.
I realise it because.. sometimes when I am stressed.. I wouldn't know it.
It's like.. I feel giddy at work many times.. it is only when I get so giddy.. and feel like I am about to faint.. that I realise I am stressed.. and probably suffering from anxiety attacks.
Because I try to rush myself.. no.. more like.. I force myself to do all my work. force myself so much so.. I am stressed without knowing it.

I need a break.
On top of the increasing workload... I have to deal with my company's merger.
Not that this is the first time I am hearing news of the merger.
But knowing for a fact that my company is going to be phased out.. sorta hit me real hard.
Although in the new company.. there are vacancies.. and we are all eligible to apply.. It's just hitting me harder than I thought it would.
It's like.. I've grown so comfortable with my current life and situation.
I've created a zone in which I am comfortable with.. And I am just very reluctant now to leave me comfort zone and face those horrid uncertainties.

It's like..
Who would I be working with? What is my new working environment like? Will I be happy there? Is the job scope the same? etc etc.

It is not easy getting to where I am today.
I remember when I just started out working. I went home crying everyday in my first week.
I ran to the toilet many times to silently cry.
I was so stressed, so cranky..
I remember all that too vividly.
It ain't easy.. building a relationship with my immediate supervisor..
How I went through hell.. just to get to where I am today.
Asking me to give it all up? It's hard.. and I am not taking it too well.

Though there is a possibility that we will both be offered a job in the new office.
But but but.. it is not guaranteed that we will be working together as a team anymore.
And.. I am just so darn sick of having to start off from the beginning... afterall I've already been so comfortable with where I am right now.

On top of that.. I just can't bear to leave everything behind..
The routined life I have now.. My working space, my computer.. my office.
10 months.
10 happy months..
It just breaks my heart now.. To know that in a couple of months time.. All these will fall apart.

And I just don't know how to handle this.
And this entire thing.. have been seriously bugging me.. Making me one very unhappy and gloomy person.

Also, I cannot decide if I want to go over to the new office.
It's between a job and the package.
Both have it's advantages..
And I hate hate hate making decisions.

A job
This would mean I'd be given the opportunity to continue in this trade.. to pick up the necessary skills for merchandising.
This would perhaps also mean.. I would still be working with a couple of familiar faces.. and it's not totally foreign to me.
But this also means.. we have to fight it out in the new company.. where alliances have already been formed.. and we have to then try hard to break in to fit in.
This would also mean going through uncertain periods.
This would being fighting hard to adapt to a new environment.

The package.
Although I vividly recall the details of the package.. Somehow.. I lost that sheet of paper.. and is beginning to doubt if I interpreted it wrongly.. And I don't want to make a major mistake of picking up the package.. and realising it is not what I thought it was.
And the thing is.. There is no HR people in my office.. Our HR is in HK.
So its like super tough.. trying to get to speak to someone.
I guess I need to find out to confirm.. like real soon.
But when I confirm.. then what?
How do I weigh the pros and cons and consider if this package is justified..
Whether I should drop my job for this package?
I really can't decide.
How do you expect me to? It's like both has equal advantages.
Further, I am thinking of venturing out into something else.. something more related to marketing.. Since I am given the opportunity to look for new jobs without seeming like a job hopper.
But but but.. the thought of job search all over again freezes me.
The 100+ emails and few miserly replies.
The many interviews and the few miserly replies.
The horrid salary packages offered..
And the dilemma.
I am just not too sure I want to put myself through that once more.

--
So tell me.. How can one decide?
I wish they never gave us a choice.
That they either force us to move over.. or just force us to pick up the package.
Sometimes being given a choice is not a wise decision.
In this case.. it complicates matter for me.

And I am infamous for my indecisiveness.
I can't make decisions.. More often than not.. I rely on others to make them for me..
How can I make a decision like this? When it's such a big one?

I go to sleep every night with all these hanging over my head.
And truly.. this is my first time discussing all these out at length.
I've kept it inside long enough. I've waited long enough to spill all these out.

Everytime I attempt to start talking about all these.. to just lift it off my chest.
I am greeted with a I'd call you back later.

I remember reading in Cia's blog months back..
Sorry for fuck.
I think sorry is the most misused word.
It becomes such a convenient solution to all situations and all problems.. that it is misused.
It's like.. Every problem you encounter.. you use sorry to just cover it up.
Sorry to just bury it.
It's always just a sorry.
Yes..
Sorry for fuck?
It is the most useless and worthless thing.

So much so.. sorry becomes.. just another word.

--
I've reached breaking point.
Such a weakling ain't I?
Such simple troubles. Such easy to deal with problems.. and I am breaking down.

Yes.. I review the things bothering me.. the troubles I have..
And I despise myself.
It's like..
What the fuck is my problem..
Such small issues.. and I can't handle it.
Such small issues.. and I am breaking apart.

All these is trying me mad.

Sigh

I am so majorly upset.

- My hair is thinning like severly. Please please please tell me how I can stop it. I would give a leg to stop those thinning hair.
- I have so many things I want to say to that special someone. But he just doesn't have the time for me. It's almost as if he doesn't care. How can you? When you interrupt me and tell me you will call me back.. and do so like almost an hour later.
- I have alot of things at work to do these days. But yet, I go off at 6pm sharp. It's like.. I am too used to not working overtime. It'll kill me to just ask me to work those extra few hours.
- I can't make decisions. I totally totally suck at decision making. But it's like.. when I hope that I can get a better opinion or a 2nd view on some major decision in life.. Nobody is ever free to hear me out. So I wait.. wait and wait and wait. So much so.. I forget what is bothering me anymore.
Perhaps you'd think it's good. To forget what is bothering you.
BUT BUT BUT. Though the issues are forgotten.. The gnawing feelin remains. It's like.. you know there is something eating at you.. But you just cannot put a finger to it and describe it at length. Hence, not fully solving the issue altogether.
- I am so freak tired. Yet, it's not sleep I am lack off. I have no frickin idea what it is.
- I whine and whine about renovating my life. But thus far, the furthest I got to, is to think about it. No positive actions.. in fact no action at all whatsoever.
- I know I am getting old. I know for a fact that memory is failing me. And I so fucking hate this feeling. Can I like remember every single thing I thought about?? Instead of letting those thoughts leak out like a stupid dam.
- I hate being frustrated and there is no one to pour everything out to. Talking to the 2 carebears is beginning to freak me out. Because for sure, they can't reply, when they do.. You'd know I've seriously gone mad.
- As much as I try not to be shallow.. I hate being poor. How I always preach about.. it's not the clothes you wear that makes a person shine, it's her character and personality.
Sometimes, I am just so tired of that crap.. and think.. SCREW THAT SHIT.
Pile those designer stuff on me, and I will look as good as one can be.
But even after I say screw that shit, I still can't pile those stuff on me, because I am so fucking poor.
- I hate talking/thinking to myself, period.

Aging

Aging becomes a bad word (almost vulgar) when you pass your 21st.
So taboo is that word that ladies especially will take great lengths to avoid.

As much as I try to hypnothesize myself to think that I'm still sweet 18... It just aint working anymore.
And I realise I am seriously aging, not when I spot fine lines or grey hairs.
I know I am getting old, when memory fails me.

Fess up now.. How many of you mid-twenties say the following wayyyy too often
- Huh? I said that?
- You mean I switched off the TV just now?
- Was I suppose to call you back?
- I am so sorry.. what's your name again?
- Darn, forgot to top up my ez-link
- Sorry, no drinking tonight, I need to rest/sleep

I bumped into an acquaintance yesterday.
I wouldn't have noticed her if she didn't smile and said Hi to me.
Try as I might.. I just can't remember her name. And I think it is rude if we were to strike up a conversation, and talk like we knew each other.. and yet I cannot recall her name.
And so, I almost literally ran away.

Was on my way home today.. and a little boy stood next to me.. I would have said he was a cute little boy.. if not for the fact that the cute little boy called me Auntie.
I mean.. Is it like that bad? Should I start shopping at FEP again?
I already have a hate-hate relationship with kids. So please, don't annoy me further by calling me auntie. And I hate those parents who ask their kids to call every female they see auntie. I mean what is your problem???? Just because you have a kid, you are old, you are fat, you are auntie/uncle doesn't mean everybody else is hor.
As long as I am not married, don't have kids.. I am not auntie okie..

Call me 姐姐. And I will give you a great big kiss.

I am still very young ok.. (at heart, that is).
I've just recently added a new addition to my carebear family.
And so now, I have three carebears instead of two.
I bought a Goodnight bear recently, the nemsis of Funshine.
One with a sun, the other with a moon.
Together they look so darn cute.

What did I say?
I am still into soft toys hor.

Sunday Blues

Who said Monday is the worst day of the week?
According to Melissa the Great..
S-u-n-d-a-y is the worst day of the week.
There is no Sunday I hate most than today's Sunday.

After one entire week of holidaying.. going back to work tomorrow is simply horrifying.
I hate it.
The boy and I whined endlessly, sulked, complained to no avail.
Time refuse to standstill for him, for me, and for all of us.
Damn it.
Why must life be so tough?

Why oh why?

Taiwan Sonata

I totally adore this picture.
So... classic.
Don't I look sooooo cross in the picture?
Well, that's because I spent half the trip being crossed with the boy. When he is not sleeping, he is annoying me. When he is not annoying me, he is eating. When he is not eating, he is taking useless pictures of the not-too-fantastic Taiwan scenary. I think we have close to 400 pictures taken during this 7days 6 nights. But only about 100 of them has either me or him in the picture. The rest are... not-too-fantastic useless pictures of the Taiwan scenary.

Day One.

















We scrambled awake at like 5am, to get our asses to the airport. Thank God we made it on time, unlike our Survivor-ish Tioman trip.
China Airlines was not as freaky as I thought it would be. Then again, I wouldn't have noticed, cos I was fast asleep even before the plane took off. (Yes, I can't believe it either, especially when I was given the window seat).

When we reached Taiwan, we were rather well rested (slept almost throughout the entire plane ride)..
Once we hit Taipei and dumped our luggage in our 3-star hotel (Paradise), we got our asses out to the ever so famous Xi Men Ting.
Out of the 4 hours or so we spent there, I think 3 hours were spent walking aimlessly (cos we were so darn lost).
Every single street looks the same, and after 3 hours, every single street became so darn familiar. And so, we walked round and round and round in freaking Xi Men Ting, trying so hard to find our way back to the hotel. Instead, we found more and more food. And ended up gorging ourselves like a PIG.

And someone actually boasted about being Army Trained.
Oh boy.

Visited Taipei 101 too.. Apparently it is currently the World's Tallest Building..
Nothing that impressive, and we didn't travel all the way to the top, cos I think it's a bloody waste of money.. and I am not too comfortable with these tall buildings.. You'd never know if it's truly stable.
Like the KL's Twin Peaks, the shopping inside was seriously on the higher end.. Shopped till our legs nearly gave way before travelling on back to our hotel via the Taiwan's MRT.

It's a pity we didn't take alot of pictures on the first day in Xi Men Ting, because we thought we'd be able to return on our last day.. so thought we could save the picture snapping till then. Totally regretted it, when we realise we could not return.
Argh.

Day Two

















We woke up on time alright. I was so totally knocked out the night before, I actually fell asleep even though there were 100+ channels on TV, all equally interesting TV programs. And worse, I fell asleep before that piggish ogre.

Being the first time on a package tour (since ages), we actually dilly-dallied way too much.
We were required to meet at the lobby at 8am. And at 8am sharp, we realised (to our horrors) that we are actually still in the hotel room, watching TV.
When the reception called, we flew down to the lobby, and got up the bus filled with very impatient fellow group mates, all 36 of them.

Boy oh boy. And I swore not to be late ever again.

Our first stop for the entire trip to Taiwan was the CKS Memorial. Don't ask me what that was for, or where it is. I have no freaking idea.
The tourguide spoke in Mandarin (Taiwan, duh) and so I had a very difficult time trying to get his jokes, information (both the useless ones and the useful ones). It's like half the time he said something, I had to digest them slowly to get what he is saying. And by the time I've understood his initial topic, he would have already long gone onto say some other stuff.

Anyhow, all I remember of the CKS memorial, was that we took pictures, like all tourists did, without really understanding the full meaning of the entire place itself.

Later on, we visited one of the nicest and most worth going to places in Taiwan on the first day.
野柳. Hope I got that right.
Anyway, this was like yet another geographic field trip at Ye Liu. Everything was formed over the years through the wonders of nature. And all of these just leaves me in great awe.
Fantastic really.
Though it would have been more enjoyable if the tour guide (which we affectionately call 小羊) did not fill us up with horror stories of tourist falling into the great big ocean, drowning and losing their lives in the stormy ocean. Apparently, he lost 2 tourist in his 20+ years as a tourguide in Ye Liu.
Freaky I tell you.
So throughout the entire trip to Ye Liu, I clung helplessly onto my poor boy. Not that I was worried he'd fall into the great big ocean. But I was afraid I would be blown away by the gusty winds.
And actually, I think the winds were about that strong, cos I could feel myself being blown slightly off balance at times.

We visited many other places on our first day. But because my memory is getting all so hazy.. Everything is blurred, and I can't remember which is on the first day, and which wasn't.
Oh well.. Too bad for me.
Cos even though I brought my travel diary along, I was too tired to record religiously every single place we went on the first day.
It's truly truly tiring I tell you. Even though we spent like 3/4 of our time on the bus sleeping .. It's somehow amazingly tiring.
At the end of the day, once we hit the hotels, all we ever want to do.. is sleep like there's no tomorrow.
So my travel diary was pretty much relegated at the bottom of my bag.

Day Three
















Well, initially I was still quite alright about busrides. But I think Day Three was the ultimate. We spent almost the entire day on the bus. It's just plain gross.
As much as I didn't want to sleep, and wish I could see more on the bus.. I couldn't.
It was almost as if I was under some spell, I just couldn't wake properly. And when I was awake, I just couldn't stay awake long enough.

So for the first time in history. I actually slept MORE than our piggy friend.

We drove to this really really dangerous 山路 thingy.. I think the place is called swallow something. I couldn't catch the name of the place. It's something 燕..
Even though it was not bad, the winding roads made me giddy and sleepy.. So I had no choice but to close my eyes whenever possible.. Lest when I am awake, I'd puke.

It's nerve wrecking to be awake really. When you see the driver and our humongous tour bus negotiate those really really really tight bends. And at some parts, the roads actually had been broke off and gave way.. (probably due to the earthquakes. So when you look down, and you see a part of the road broken off, like some chocolate bar.. your heart beats twice as fast, and you start wondering if you should have bought travel insurance before you came.

The only time I remembered getting off the bus on the third day was probably for that 5 minutes of picture taking, and the countless toilet breaks.
Meal breaks became so insignificant I can't really remember them.

---
Ok, since the rest of the trip becomes pretty much of a haze, I thought I'd lump them all up and categorise in easier categories instead of by date.
When we go by date, it just proves how..... old i've become, and how much my memory is beginning to fail me.

Our Tour Mates
There were 38 of us in total. I remember this because each time we get off and get back on the bus, the tour assistant will count every single one of us, without fail.
And so everytime I hear the 38.. it means we are all set and ready to go.
Sadly, half of the group consists of the older generation.
And so, they are more prone to the fengshui, and temples thing.. and well, also more into gossips.

Most of our Tour Mates and the guides assumed we were a married couple on our Honeymoon.
It's sad.. Because now, I think we're too old to be mistaken for anything else.
I was so tickled by their assumptions.. that I told my boy, if anyone were to ask Where my husband has gone too, I would tell them:
That's not my husband, he's my brother.
And watch their reaction.

Well, because everybody was comfortable with assuming, plus the fact that we are so highly anti social, nobody really asked us upfront about our status. They happily assumed.

Our group is rather diversed.
We all learn about how diversity in a group is welcomed and will spark creativity.. Well, I hardly think that's the case in a Travel group.
The boy and I were clearly the most anti social of the entire group.
We kept to ourselves.. spoke very little (almost never) with the rest of them unless absolutely necessary.
I am just not those we are keen on small talks, or socialising.
I am really a very private person.. And I'm glad the boy is the same.. Else it would have been frustrating.

Then again, thankfully the rest of them were pretty friendly. And I tried to smile and say my Good Mornings often enough..
Because on our last day, we managed to form some kind of alliances with the younger ones and abandoned the old folks for shopping.

The lesbians.

Well, we had a group of lesbians travelling with us.
Though I came from a school were lesbians are like the norm..
Experiencing this on a trip overseas is kinda weird.
There were 3 lesbian couples, in their mid twenties or so... and I just can't get it out of my head.. even after 7 days.
On the very first day..
THEY actually requested for one single BIG BED, so they can sleep together.

I mean...
I hate to say this..
But I think it's just gross.
I thought lesbianism was a phase thing..
and most of us would actually get out of that phase when we are older.
But the group of them, are actually working adults.. and they are still into this. Don't you think it's very very weird?

Maybe I am just.. too much of a prude.

Toilets

After suffering Yunnan. I thought toilets anywhere else would never be this bad.
But I was so wrong.
Toilets in Taiwan are not exactly very clean. And for once, I actually truly appreciate the toilets in Singapore.
Thank God sanitation is first class here.

The boy.

Before we left for Taiwan.. we actually had huge problems in our rocky relationship. So much so I wasn't really even hoping that this trip would do as any good. More like, I was hoping to just get over this trip and be done with it.
In fact, it was sometimes frustrating to have only him to face in Taiwan.. especially when he pisses me off many silly little things.

After spending 7 days with him, 24 hours a day.. I actually came out feeling better about our relationship.
True, there are many little irritating points about him.
But amazingly.. for 7 days.. he never once lost his temper at me. Despite how I whined, yelled, sulked, balked at him.
Sometimes he would irritate me so much, I'd just ignore him.
But each time, he'd just be so sweet..

I think he's changed for the better.. or maybe he had been this way all along.. just that I never noticed it.

I breathe a sigh of relief, and say, Yes I truly love him once more.
And I pray this is not just a passing phase.

It's magical..
How he sometimes cracks me up with his silly antics..
Makes me smile with his subtle sweetness
We laugh and share the same sentiments over many things.
He quietly let me rant on and on.. to the point I feel I've been self-entertaining too much

I truly see him trying.
And it moves me.. to know how much this relationship means to him.

For all the above, all that he is...

I find myself falling in love once more.

买东西吃东西

Not only is HK the place for food and shopping.. Let me tell you.. Taiwan is absolute heaven as well. Though in Taipei, there's more shopping spots.. The rest of Taiwan's not too bad either. Especially with their night markets.. it's bustling with activity even when its late at night.. Unlike Singapore's Pasar Malam.. where it's no longer attracting as much crowds as it use to.

Taiwan is superb for their 小吃. Almost every single store has some weird stuff to try..
From their famous Chicken cutlet, to pig's blood, fried ice-cream, pancakes, fried ice-cream, sotong, grilled seafood, toufu etc etc.
It's amazing I tell you.
I ate and ate and ate and ate.
And gained 2kgs.
Gross I tell you.
So now, I am like fighting so hard to lose those flabs once more.

Although they are famous for their 小吃.. normal meals just suck.
Nothing fantastic.. in fact.. I think alot of Taiwanese have 小吃s for dinner/lunch.

Clothes/shoes/bags in Taiwan are all really really nice.. But very very expensive. So it makes you weak.. when you see this really cool shoe/bag/top but you just can't buy them, cos its freak expensive... Took me alot of self control not to blow all my money in Xi Men Ting.
And of course, the endless nagging from the boy.
Even then, we came back truly broke.
So broke we didn't have money for lunch at the airport. Could only watch others eat.. whilst we slept at the waiting lounge.
That was how pathetic we were hor.

I came back with the following items:
- a bag
- a pair of cool wedges
- 2 skirts
- 2 jacket/cardigan
- 2 liquid eyeliner
- 1 lipgloss
- 1 bottle of shampoo
- 3 facial mask
- foodstuff

The rest of my money was spent on food...
Didn't come back with souvenirs.. cos there wasn't really any souvenirs worth getting.. most of the stuff can be found in Singapore.. bahahaa..

Pan Wei Bo + JieLun

I went to Taiwan carrying the hope that I would bump into JieLun somewhere.. propose to him and thereafter live happily ever after in Taiwan with him.
At every state we went to, I would ask my boy, if he thought jielun was here somewhere now.. Or when we were travelling endlessly on the bus, I would point to some huge mansion and ask if he thinks JieLun lives there.
Each time, my boy would roll his huge peepers and give me that Say-somemore-and-I-will-strangle-you look.

I only came back with Jielun's Novemember Chopin CD, with some pictorial book and a A4 size poster.. which I think Singapore does not have it.. or at least not yet.. So I am currently contemplating on selling it on yahoo auctions to some more fanatic fan than me.

Anyhow.. on my last day.. at Taiwan's airport..

I bumped into Pan Wei Bo can.

I am not much of a Pan Wei Bo fan.
Not more than Ashley at least.. I just think he's cute.
So when I saw him..
I thought about Ashley.. and how she would c-r-y when I told her I saw him.
In fact, when I thought of approaching him for a picture.. it was more because of Ashley.. then anything else.

So I approached him for a picture.. and so he agreed..
BUT
The bitchy assistant or minder of his had to reject me can.

I was pretty much in a daze.. because I was actually talking to PAN WeI BO hor.
That when she rejected me.. Instead of scratching her face and pulling her eyes out (she was shorter than me can).. I just smiled weakly.. and said oh ok.. nevermind.. thanks. (in mandarin I think).
BUT
As she was shooing him away, he actually reached out and shook my hand and said THANK YOU.

It was all sooooo meng huan..
Because we were like lovers being separated, and he had to reach out to hold my hand and say something like I love you to me.
Though it was just a THANK YOU.. at least I got to shake his bloody hand and speak to him can.
No picture.. but this is enough to get me all excited for a couple of years maybe.

My first encounter hor...
Should have bought 4D.. darn.. forgot about it.

--
Will continue again later.. with more pics.
Rushing out for dinner.

This entry took me like 2.5 hours lor..

Happy Birthday

Love you love you
Yes I love you
你听见了吗?

Back from Taiwan

I am so darn tired, yet so frickin recharged.
I have loads of stuff to blog, yet I am lazy beyond words.
I totally totally enjoyed Taiwan.
Though I think I whined incesstantly whilst I was there, on hindsight, I reckon I did somehow enjoy it.. Because I am so missing it all now.
I need to lose weight very very badly.
I think we downed close to 8 cups of 珍珠奶茶 in those 7 days.

No more watching lame variety shows tonight.
No more switching the TV on throughout the night because I can't sleep when it's pitch black and silent in a hotel.
No more hugging something fat to sleep tonight.
No more waking up at 6am every morning.

Tomorrow I will blog and post pictures.
Today, just let me grief.

Just a list of things I intend to blog about.. But have yet to have the energy to...

Taiwan Airport + Cosmetics + Ximenting + 野柳 + bus rides + chewing gum + toilets + shoes + night markets + lesbians + Fengshui + Assumptions + Package Tours + Tips + Weather + Hotels + JieLun + variety shows + Mandarin + Taipei 101 + Alishan + SunMoonLake + Taxi driver with a baseball bat + 7 Elevens + Showoffs + Anti-Social + Tombs + Sleep + Food + Pokemon + Nicknames + Resorts + Scams + Gangsters