回忆只不过是回忆。

I use to wonder why memories would fade away.
I had always thought that fading memories were the worst that could happen to a person and a relationship. When the feelings you once had when you sat opposite each other and ate. The special song that once made you feel so warm and fuzzy suddenly feels so.. bland. Those special occasions that you remember so vividly suddenly just.. fade away.

I always wondered why.
Believe it or not, I remember the day in which every single one of my previous relationship started.
So every year, at that particular date, I will think back and count the number of years that had gone by.
"If we were together, it would have been x number of years"
This is one bad habit I can't seem to break. It comes back to my very very frequently, and the thing is, I hardly make a conscious effort to really remember.

At the end of the previous relationship and in between the current one.
I held this very fear.
That the next relationship would just become memories, and like all memories, they will fade away one day.
It doesn't matter how much you love that someone, or how much that someone loves you. At the end of the day, those feelings, those memories will just become a part of yesterday.
To a certain extent, I hold steadfast that same fear. Perhaps that's why my inability to move on forward in a relationship and grow beyond the current.
It is however a fear that was built on solid grounds.

However, I've come to realise something.
Memories are just.. memories.
Or if you like it, 回忆只不过是回忆。
When you think back to any particular memory. It is, but only memories.
Regardless, happy or sad.
They are just part of something that had happened. And there's nothing else you could do to change that memory or make it stop fading away.
I had thought it was a bad thing. That past feelings fade and become more "diluted". Although those were feelings for another someone in another relationship at another point of time. Nonetheless, I felt a tinge of sadness. Because it made me wonder more about if everything would eventually be a fading memory.
I've learnt to hold back that thought and perhaps not ponder too much about it. (Ok, because it freaked me out too much) But importantly, I realise that sometimes a memory seems all the more poignant because of the way a relationship ended. There's always that "oh-what-could-have-been" that makes a memory one that is close to your hear, or one that makes your heart ache a little.

But, it's but only a memory.

It's pointless to hold tight a memory that is bound to fade away.
Even if you decide to relive the memory, rake up the past and reenact the scene the feeling is different, the person is different. Because each individual are now equipped with a different experience and/or knowledge.

Memories, are good to look back on. But they are not good to dwell in.
Sometimes, I find it funny to think about any particular incident that happened in the past, laugh at it, and reminisce the past. But I think it's time I don't go beyond that.
When I say beyond that, it means comparing the past and superimposing it in the present.

Memories are always beautiful, but we should all let them fade.

What is important however, is the fact that even as we speak.
New memories are made.

--
On a different note.

I had a barrage of MSN chats at work today, and NO I wasn't actually very free. Taking into consideration I was busy updating forecasts and what-not, it is quite an incredible feat that I actually had a rather in-depth conversation with bopzoe.
In depth as in those that well, requires you to think deeper than the usual, "so what did you eat for lunch?" kind of question.

I think because we are now officially of marriagble age. (twenty-four is like 6 years away from our target forever18, so I think it's time we wake up)
Or maybe it's because she has a fat diamond ring sitting on her finger.
But anyhow, we were talking about "THE ONE".

I've had this conversation with quite a few people now. And ranging from their marital status (or denial-status if you prefer it that way), they have different opinions towards "THE ONE" theory.

Not sure if I blogged about this before (I'm sure I did in my past 484 entries in blogspot and countless others in xanga) I'd just do yet another one and pray theory of mine colludes with the ones prior.

I don't believe in "THE perfect ONE" for you in any one lifetime. (that is to say, if you live 2 lifetimes, I cannot guarrantee my theory holds true).
Reason being.
The world is oh-so-huge.
It is impossible that there is one person out there in this world that is a perfect fit and tailor-made for you. Such that, you totally understand that person and that person totally understands you in return.
Well, you may think, since this world is so huge. Why then is it not possible?

There are a million possibilities of characters, a million of other personalities and quirks.
How can there be a perfect fit?

Instead, the person you probably should want to spend the rest of your life with, is that person whom you feel comfortable enough to want to compromise for. AND that person must feel comfortable with you and want to compromise for you. In other words, you meet someone who's willing to put up with you, and you are willing to put up for him/her.
And it has got to be mutual.

I think this is love at it's simplest form.

Nobody can guarantee that one love will be forever.
However, if at any point in time, you find someone who's willing to compromise for you, and you are willing to compromise for that person. That perhaps he/she is the one that you could spend the rest of your life with.

So logically, it's bollocks if you say, "I met that perfect guy, and I think he's the one for me"
So how do you know? It's right to say, feelings that are inexplicable and overwhelming is first experienced. Infatuated is the right word perhaps.
But at the end of the day, infatuation is not enough, and you should delve deeper and decide if you would want or not to compromise and put up with that person.

I want to compromise for my Bin Bin. Aiya.
Ok. The boy is not too happy with this Bin Bin fiasco.
But anyhow.

This question arose initially because bopzoe asked, "do you think he's the right one for you" (don't ask me why she's asking me such a question on a very hot Wednesday noon). And well, that was the gist of my answer (above).
I don't think he is "THE ONE" for me, because I simply don't believe in "THE ONE", he is however someone whom I feel comfortable with (because he is very fat and huggable) and am willing to compromise for (all those nuisances) and put up with (his ever persisting smoking habit and that really REALLY annoying snores).
And NO. I am not deliriously happy.
Because like all compromising and putting-up-with, it's tough.

Let's just say I am comfortable.