Are you stupid?

During one (of the many) conversations that I had with one of my ex-colleague I actually learnt something I never really thought about much. It's all these fleetingly tiny moments in life that I think makes life overall worthwhile. Imagine if life's all about the normal mundane stuff, getting things done, and bitching about not getting things done.
You know that kind of tiny enlighted feeling I'm talking about? It may not be a very grand affair, like someone sitting you down and telling you "hey, you know life's about yada yada yada or that, you know one should yada yada yada"
It ain't like that.

It's those little moments where you talk about the most nonsensical stuff or just bitching about the most pissing stuff that you suddenly feel somewhat enlighted or learn something worth.. learning.

It's those moments that I treasure.
Well, not treasure per se.
But, appreciate.

Anyhow, I was suddenly reminded of one of the many such moments that I had.

It was during lunch one day, after a major bad morning in my previous company. I think my then boss (now friend, whom we meet up occasionally for dinners) was giving me a hard time with her tantrums. I was trying very hard to keep up with her pace, and it was only during lunch that I was given a chance to have a go at it. Well, actually I wasn't really riled-up kind of mad, more like resigned-to-my-fate that she is tempremental.

So I was complaining about it abit with my ex-colleague (and yes, we do meet up together with my then boss for dinners as well) about her attitude and mentioned in a resigned sort of way that well, she said before that she knows her temper is bad, and she can get rather tempremental at times. So I guess I have to sort of get used to it.

My ex-colleague however very quickly mentioned that it was really not the way.
"If you know you are tempremental, you should then change and not use it as an excuse"

Ok. I realise this is very anti climax.
But I hadn't really thought much about having to change at that point in time.
For me, it was always, if she's like that, then she's like that. Perhaps I would have to get around it. And if I'm like that then I'm like that and others should get around it.

That was the attitude I had prior to the conversation.
It was only at that point that I wondered about the change that we should undertake for something negative. More importantly something that you know is wrong but you had never actively bothered to change.

As much as I believe change is the only thing constant in life. I had always saw change in the big picture not really the little nitty gritty details. Like how the environment (work and family) for example, changes. Or how technology is changing and we just have to keep adapting to all that new stuff that's always coming up.
I had never really given much thought to changing a personality or character flaw.

Perhaps it's because I had always thought that everyone is unique because of their innate flaw. Nobody is perfect (yada yada) and that everyone is bound to have flaws or quirks. Thus, when you work with someone, or love someone the people around should be working around your flaws and accepting it instead of expecting one to change. (this is only theoretical for me)
It may sound unfair to expect everyone to work around your flaws, but if you think about it, you are also working around the flaws of others (because no one person is perfect and do not have any flaws for others to work around)
Granted, some may be easier to work with and others more tough. It's hard to strike a balance.

Thus, when that friend of mine mentioned about knowing your own fault and working on it.
I realise I learnt something different from another's perspective.
Not that I was going to change mine drastically. But at least I know there's a different school of thought some where and not everybody thinks the same as me.

Is it important?
That in addition to knowing one's fault, you should actively change as well?
Suddenly knowing/admitting a fault is not good enough anymore, you should be taking active steps to eradicate that fault.

Perhaps I should really consider that Anger Management class.
--

Reflection of the self is not about what you want others to tell you about you.

1. "Hello, do you think I'm stupid?"
"Yes, I think you are stupid."
"Fuck off. You're wrong."

2. "Hello do you think I'm stupid?"
"Not stupid, just slow."
"Ok. I am not stupid."

3. "Hello maybe I am stupid."

I'd rather 3 than 1 or 2.