Web Searches

Quite some time ago, I did an entry on the Origins of trixyy, because I just cannot yet comprehend why people need to search for http://trixyy.blogspot.com (by the way, some fella out there is still searching for that). I still cannot understand why you people (some of you reading this blog) will need to search my url in Google to get to his page.
Then again, forget it. I do not need your explanations (not now at least), because I am currently confounded by new evidence (I just finished 3 hours of CSI, bear with my lingo)

I have been increasingly perturbed by some of the searches that many others make to land themselves at my blog. This, I presume is the work of one-time (extremely) bored net surfers who randomly search for topics they would like to read up on via the world wide web.

Sadly, I know how disappointing it is, when you search for a topic, click the link that brings you to my blog, and you don't get your answers answered, or you do not leave this blog with the knowledge you'd wanted.

I hate to disappoint.
Therefore, I will do my utmost best to make things right and try to answer or provide some of the information that people in the past had searched for. Therefore, in future if others do search for similar stuff, they'd get whatever they were searching for.
(Click! To see the searches people make.)

Here goes; in order of occurence.

1. 21 May, Sun, 13:43:22
Yahoo: how to tease a girl intead of stay at home by sweet sms

Firstly, let me just say it is weird to be searching for something so detailed like this on Yahoo, and visiting my blog in hope of finding answers. I mean, who the hell would have such answers in their blogs?? (Ok, now here's one).
Secondly, this person must really be the ultimate loser. WHAT? Cannot pick up the phone and make a call? Need to rely on SMS?
Thirdly, I don't know about you. But tease and sweet seems pretty much like an oxymoron to me. I mean, you cannot expect to be sweet and tease someone can you?
Finally, what do you mean by "instead of stay at home"? You mean, instead of staying at home, doing nothing, you'd rather blow like a few couple of hundreds of sms on teasing a girl, and purely JUST teasing a girl? Or do you mean, instead of being home alone, you'd rather blow a couple of hundred of smses, trying to tease that girl out WITH you, instead of having to stay home alone?
I'm a tad bit lost here.

So, I shall assume, that you want to tease that someone out of their house instead of having to stay home alone.
Here's my 2cents worth.

1. Make sure you have a good trusty dictionary with you. Because some girls (read: me) hate spelling mistakes in text messages. If your text message is riddled with spelling mistakes, it just shows how insincere you are.
2. Do NOT use shortforms. Because some girls (once again, read: me) hate figuring out those stupid shortforms. How the hell, do you expect us to find it sweet, when we yank our hair out in frustration just trying to figure out just what the hell you're up to?
Eg: wan2 din n twn 29? ow'bou 7 @ e stn?
It ain't sweet.
3. Short smses are not sweet. Make sure you have lengthy compositions (or maybe not too long) and a relatively good command of English before you send out those "sweet" smses. You wouldn't want the girl to laugh at your sentence structure or you tenses. Nor would you want her to circulate that sms amongst her circle of friends. (then, you won't be able to date her friends out, in case you fail with this girl)
4. Sound sincere. Or at least try to. Do not give any hints of your real intention of getting her to go out. (that is, do not let her know you just want to get laid that night) At least, make sure you sound decent and bookish enough. Pretend that you are truly just interested in a cuppa, and not the might heaving bosom she happen to possess.
5. Be sure to be able to reply fast enough. NOT freakingly fast, leading her to wonder if you are really that insane (or desperate). But fast enough to make her think you are sincere enough.
6. Be Humourous. Afterall, you mention tease, therefore you cannot sound oh-so-boring. Be FUN and FUNNY. Don't take it to heart if she decides to stay at home with a good book instead of going out with you. (erm, sometimes I just want to stay home and read, instead of head out, because I am feeling ugly). So be FUNNY and slowly cajole her. Force or threats ain't going to work swell. Nor silly claims of how you will be so lost without her company, or that you miss her oh-so-much.
7. Propose something fun. I'm sure she'll be hooked if it truly sounds like fun. (note, FUN not pervertish!)

This sounds more like my 50cents worth.

2. 20 May, Sat, 23:59:54
Yahoo: kwon sang woo penis

I have seriously no idea why someone would want to search for something like that on the internet. Because it's penis and its ksw, I am assuming it's a girl doing the search. And this is truly appalling. I mean, why the hell do you need to see a picture of ksw's penis? Erm, do you get off on it or what?
I thought only guys were into it.
As I've said I hate to disappoint.





















Because KSW is such a celebrity, they have his penis remodelled and enshrined in a KSW musuem in Korea.

YES.
I am kidding. Please do not take me seriously.
The picture by the way, is courtesy of Ms Joey, who's trip to Shanghai was more fruitful than one could imagine.

Can you believe they have a Sex Museum in Shanghai? That's CHINA lor. Never knew our chinese counterparts were soooo "kinky" ya?
Wonder if Singapore would step up and have one of those here. Afterall, what's the point of having that massive durian when we are all so uptight about sex?

Sidenote: If you happen to have a pic of KSW's penis. Let me know. HAH

3. 20 May, Sat, 10:27:59
Google: "slice fish bee hoon"

That is like my ultimate favourite dish here in Singapore.
I would die without good solid slice fish bee hoon (I think). So if I were to migrate one day, I'd definitely eat slice fish bee hoon till the very day I have to fly. And I'd make sure the Ah Hai Slice Fish Bee Hoon store at Amoy St give me their receipe.
They have the nicest Slice Fish Bee Hoon thus far, and I can eat that everyday for lunch. The thought of it now makes me salivate.

Then again, to each its own. That is my humble recommendation.
If you have a better one, I'd gladly listen.

4. 19 May, Fri, 17:14:40
Google: chong qing 火锅singapore

Another one of my personal faves. I have this thing for ma la 火锅. The one I'd recommend is the one at Bugis next to The Icon on the ground floor. I don't know what's the name of that place, but it ain't the ones at Liang Seah. This one is newer and cleaner and their food looks more appetising. Their ma la is ok enough for you to numb your lips, but at the same time the broth is drinkable.

BUT, if you have money to blow, go to the Suntec Chong Qing.
That one made me tear. But the food's so fresh it's worth paying the price.

5. 17 May, Wed, 22:32:06
Google: http://trixyy.blogspot.com

Like I said earlier, if you have problems getting to this site via your address bar at the top, then throw your computer out of the window. But if you are deliberating searching for me in Google (and what-have-yous), let me know. Because you're seriously off

6. 17 May, Wed, 17:56:44
Google: "Ann Poh" 2006

I think Ann Poh is one of the top searches here. Because every month, I'd have at least one freako searching for Ann Poh and landing themselves at my blog.
I mean, is there anything BIG about Ann Poh (and I don't mean the obvious). I mean, she's been out of the entertainment circle for like so long, but you freakos still are searching for her? I mean, what's it with you? She's a mother for goodness sake. Get it off on some other obscene pictures. Can you imagine what it's like for their children. Growing up and learning the sad fact that a great many years ago, many freakos are out their getting it off on pictures of their mother.
PLEASE, get a freaking life.

7. 17 May, Wed, 00:37:00
Google: "adrian tay"

This is like so darn interesting.
So much so, my friend Adrian Tay is beseeching the person who did that search to contact me. He wants to hook up with you. Truly.
So if you were the one who searched for Adrian Tay.
Will tag me ya?

8. 15 May, Mon, 19:59:04
Yahoo: bikiny girls

I ain't posting pictures of me in bikini (and dearie, it's BIKINI). Spell it right, and you might get more hits.
Then again, did I misspell bikini before? Argh.
Thanks for pointing that out.

9. 13 May, Sat, 22:08:40
Yahoo: ljunberg naked pic

Yet another amusing search.
Nope, I do not have a naked pic of Ljunberg. Half naked I use to have. But after I've reformatted my comp. It's just gone. But his half naked pics are all over the internet. Fully naked ones.. Well, good luck on your search!
Once again, if you do have it.. let me know.

10. 12 May, Fri, 10:33:24
Yahoo: how to deal with "cancelled appointment" dentist

This is another classic question search that puzzled me.
How do you expect blogs to have information like these? Then again, my blog has it now.
I cancelled my dental appointment once. And that's because I was too freaked out to want to go for the appointment (at that point in time). So I just called up and tell them I had to work (good excuse always), and couldn't make it for the appointment. So I asked if I could reschedule it instead. They are usually quite happy to do so. As long as you reschedule it. Because ultimately, you'd visit them and pay for the services.
But, if you want to cancel the appointment altogether. Well, they might get nasty.
I'd rather just not let them know. (Yes, I am mean). Thereafter when they call you.. just do not pick up the phone..
After that, do remember to switch dentist though.

** Oh, and make sure the dentist is not a company dentist.

11. 12 May, Fri, 01:48:00
Google: if your days are numbered, how would you "spend the rest of your life"

This is like the most interesting search I've ever encountered.
Because I just wonder if this person's life is truly numbered. And if he/she is going to die, why would you search on the net for ways to spend the rest of your life.
I mean, isn't it just weird?

And if that person who did this search is not going to die. To search on stuff like this on the internet.. that's just morbid isn't it?

Well, to answer that.
I thought about it for quite some time.
I think the answer really depends on just how much time you have left. If it's just a couple of days, I think I will spend it crying, eating and with my loved ones.
If I have months, I'd probably go travelling to the places that I really really wanted to visit.

Then again, all these are just talk. I am not sure if when the time comes, I would even be thinking straight.

What I do know for sure is.
If I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered at the 12 apostles (Great Ocean Road).
I don't want to place my ash somewhere in Singapore for people to visit, stick flowers around and grief. I just want to go with the wind and have my remains floating around at somewhere beautiful.
Thus far, that is like the most beautiful place to me. So that's where I want my final resting place to be.

--
That's it.
If you search for something and came to my blog without having answers for, well tag me. I'd gladly give you my 2cents worth.

Disclaimer: I was kidding about wanting those pics.
Truly.