I am an egg

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?
by Mary Sullivan - used with her expressed permission.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as if as soon as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen.

The mother filled three pots with water.

In the first, she placed carrots.
In the second she placed eggs.
And the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word. About twenty minutes later, she turned off the burners.

She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she said, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. (You known the tone of voice.)

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did, and noted that they felt soft.

She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg inside.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "So, what's the point, mother?" (Remember the tone of voice.)

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently.


The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid center. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its insides had become hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water...they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your
door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot , an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt
and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?

Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial
hardship, or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my outer shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water - the very circumstances that bring the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor of the bean. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you instead of letting it change you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle Adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

--

Killer D (the sicko who eats pregnant fish) shared this with me yesterday.
"You are an egg" he says.

An egg I really am.

Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship, or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my outer shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Though most of the time, I try to convince myself to think and act like a coffee bean, to seek out the beauty of each adversity and use it to your advantage. To learn and grow through all the hardships and change the environment after an adversity instead of sucumbing to it.
I've only tried but never much succeeded.

It ain't easy being an egg really.
The process of changing from that fluid nature to a harden bitter one is tough and inevitable. Yet at the same time the outside appears pretty much the same not because it wants to, but it has to. The shell becomes my mask.
Nobody knows the change that is going on inside me. They see my shell and they think all is well. It is only when the shell breaks apart then will everyone know what has become of me.
And so I wonder.
Has that shell been broken? Do you already know the extent of the bitterness inside?

I think I have this uncanny ability to turn everything around me negative.
I don't think the Egg, coffeebean, carrot story is meant to be something for me to be pessimistic about. Rather, it should very well be inspiring or encouraging for that matter. Instead, I dwell on how sad it is to really be an egg, when I actually very much want to be a coffee bean.

I should get a prize for this.

I've been pretty tired lately.
It is a chore to be tired really.
I can never get my ass out of the bed at the stipulated time (that is, 6:45am). Instead, it takes me 2 alarms to get me into the shower at 7:05am.
It is strange how in the mornings, every little minute mean so much to you. I can wake up at 6:57am and think it is too early, and I should instead wake at 7:00am. Not like 3 minutes is going to let me have a full-blown dream of Jay Chou. Nevertheless, I still insist on that extra 3 minutes.

Not forgetting, I sleep in the shower. (I close my eyes and go about the necessaries)
I'd rather skip the eye make up than to sacrifice those few precious minutes of sleep. Just how sick can I be?

The people around are commenting how suicidal I can be.
Learning driving in Ubi, at the super peak timing of 6:30pm-8:00pm. After my 6th lesson yesterday I realise just how this is so.
Especially when at some crucial junction, your instructor tells you to turn the steering wheel on your own.
Ok la, maybe because I am slow. But all throughout the previous lessons, I haven't been looking out for cars/pedestrians/bicycles. Instead, I've been busy trying to perfect that clutch/brake/accelerator crap. So I do put my hand on the steering wheel and do the necessary motions to turn. BUT, c'mon. So many cars leh, and you ask me to turn on my own?

SO naturally, I panicked, neglected the fact that there are oncoming cars and attempted to turn right.
Car horned, instructor yell to stop, I reacted only like 10 seconds later.
"So I had to look out for cars before I turn huh?"

Why can't the roads be my playground? Where I can turn as I deem fit.
And I realise now why I haven't yet been panicking much about the traffice before. Because I never really noticed them. The only thing that irks me, are the stupid drivers smirking at you.
You don't think I don't know.
I know. Even before I started learning driving.. I have already been busy with laughing at those learner drivers whose car stall in the middle of the road.

Did I just hear karma being whispered?
Yes, I believe so too.

--
Almost the entire office is out.
The reason why I am here?
I can't think of a valid sickness to tell the doctors. I have this feeling headache doesn't work anymore. Especially so, when I keep going back to the same clinic