Granted.

I tend to take the little things in life for granted.
It is natural to wake up after a night's rest to carry on with the boring daily routines of our everyday.
Just last night, when I was heading out for dinner.
I thought to myself.
I must be taking everything in life for granted.
So I breathed in deep and tell myself I should be happy for being able to breathe.

Memory seems to be failing me.
Someone said the following to me, and I cannot quite put a face to that person.

You should always be with someone that makes you laugh. Being happy is very important in life.
If you are not happy, your life is compromised.

I have been upset for so long now, I cannot remember when was the last time I felt carefreely happy.
The kind of happiness that penetrates your bones, giving you the boost to trudge through the routines and still come out happy.
I lost it.

I took happiness for granted.

I was at the hospital on New Year's day itself to visit granny.
When I was there, some old lady from the neighbouring room passed on.
The entire family, grandchildren and all were at the hospital all clad in their new year clothings. Which were all ironically red in color.

What was it like for them?
To have someone dear pass on that day.

I look at my dear old granny and wondered.
What would it be like when it's her turn.

When my grandfather died.
I told myself not to take my grandmother for granted.
I tried to care for her the best way I could.
With time, everything seem more important than grandma.
The weekend visits became a once-a-month thing, and even that slowly dwindled.
I was angry.
With her disease.
It took her memory away from her. It took me away from her.
How does one cope with that?
A dying soul.
My grandma has long gone.

Then I wondered.
What is it like to forget the ones you love.
Perhaps I am taking simple things like my memory and consciousness for granted as well.

I think its time for me to do something positive with my life.
To rid myself off all the unhappiness and start building life up once more.
Happiness is not a choice. But perhaps it is something we all have to fight for.