我真的受伤了

Retail therapy at Compass Point felt strange.
I mean, its Compass Point lor.
I blew like $60 plus there can?
Not alot... But its Compass Point ok.

The list of things that I want need just keeps getting longer.

Bah.

Anyhow, was blog hopping when I reached home.

Sidetrack: In case you think I have some serious addiction to the internet and live only in the virtual world.. Please don't think that way of me ok? Because really, I wanted to watch my Lost (Season One) DVD series, but there's just something wrong with my graphic card, and daddy's at the TV, so I can't watch it on our DVD player.

So I was blog hopping.
(actually I really don't see why I should explain myself)

And I read with amusement.
I think the ratio of guys to girls in the blogsphere is like what? 3:1?
It suddenly struck me that male bloggers are downright rare.
Then again, that's because they are built entirely different from us girls. (I don't really want to go into how different they are today).
But its one of the rare moments that I chance upon a male blogger.
I applaud him actually.
Because it led me in a little on what's going on in the mind of a guy (and a rather honest one I would say).

I say I read with amusement, because usually (and I say usually) a guy's blog is always boring. (nono, I am not stereotyping). Mostly, its about how Manchester United was clobbered by Blackburn Rovers, and how Sven Eriksson is over the hill and not at all productive to the growth of England, or how that chick in the next class looks so hot, and her uber short skirt drives them wild, or how the weekend's Batam trip was etc etc.
(I am kidding, guy's blogs that I read are usually not like that).
But that's not the point.

The point was, this guy's blog actually sounded like a girl's blog.
Which I think, is actually a good sign if you were to look at it objectively.
Because it shows how this guy actually thinks like a girl (which is still a good sign), because that just shows he understands the elusive female population?
Well, I am just making presumptions here.
But hell, it's just logic reasoning isn't it?

That was till I read about his take on intimacy in a relationship.
In it, he mentions about how his girlfriend and him are lacking in the physical action. (read: some bed action).
Don't ask me why anyone in the right mind would blog about something like that.. That's not for me and you to decide.
What's funny is how he thinks it is important, and without it, he might be led to cheat on his girl.
Or so I gathered from skimming through the entries.
Let me just say here, I may be wrong and interpreted stuff wrongly.
(I am human, I err ok?)

BUT well, naturally (like all females), I got into a hissy fit.
Huffed and puffed.
Rolled eyes.
Called names.

And pondered.

Then I asked.
Is it really that important?

I guess he put it in a wrong way. (somewhat)
(at least it sounded a tad bit wrong to me).

Sex is not important in a relationship.
Intimacy is.
Intimacy does not equals sex.

Intimacy is what happenes between a loving couple, because love is the fundamental basis of intimacy. You have to love someone (or at least feel that way) for you to be intimate. And when I mean intimate, its really not sex that I am talking about.
A simple hug, a passionate kiss, the way he touches your hand, strokes your fingers, runs his fingers through your hair, kisses the top of your forehead bla bla bla.
(too much Judith Mcnaught in my blood)
That, is intimacy.
And it cannot be forced.
If it exists, congratulations!!
Because there's l-o-v-e in your relationship.

Sex (I prefer making love) is just another branch of intimacy.
It is a subset, not the whole.
So say, if you have everything else but the sex.
The relationship can still be self sustaining.
So all that crap about maybe I will cheat on her because I am not getting what I need is a fuckload of crap.
It's the feelings.
I know because I've cheated.

I cheated not because there was no sex, and I was frustrated (haha).
I took off because the feelings were not there. The level of intimacy was not felt.
There were no little kisses, the hugs felt.. wrong. The fingers did not run through my hair. The kisses were obligatory.
The feelings ain't right.
Therefore, there is no love.

Now now, go ahead and judge me for all I fucking care.
But really, you don't cheat on someone because there is no sex in a relationship.
Or rather, I did because I no longer love, nor felt the love in the relationship.. And I just went out to seek love. NOT sex nor intimacy.

That is the primary difference between girls and guys.
To have sex (can we really use making love pleaseeee) and intimacy does not mean you love a person.
You love someone first before all those come naturally.
If there isn't. Perhaps that's just because there is NO love.

For the guys?
It's..
If you love me, then why are we having sex? (It's making love damnnit!)

Why do I get this feeling I am running in circles?