Adaptablility to change

It took me an hour and a half with a total stranger to make me realise my 2nd major problem in my life (the first being my inability to love myself)

After all that silly modules in school about adaptability to change, I would have thought I should know better. But I didn't.
In fact, I realise this strong resistance towards change inside myself have been ongoing since donkey years ago.

Now, given this situation, I could either a) pretend this does not exist and carry on being resistant towards change or b) change.
I thought about it for very long. I know how we're always taught that change is good and we should change. BUT, when you are caught in the situation, you'd think twice. Because you are already so comfortable in status quo, why step out and throw yourself onwards to uncertainty.

It's tough.
I know I have to change. But I don't know if I can.

In relationships I tend to always want to stay put at one point. Thus, when things start to move away from the past and change into something else (perhaps better) I hated it. "Why did you change?" and "Why aren't things the same as before anymore?" were always my favourite question. Instead of accepting the changes, I tried very much to go back to the past.
Maybe I should start loving the change.

Its hard to step out.
Easier to say "I will change" difficult to really put it into action.

+++++++
Everytime I log in to blog, its a dilemma.
Having two blogs is not easy.
Half the time, I feel compelled to blog in another and stash those feelings away from public.
The mask? It's prevalent in virtual reality too.

During our steamboat gathering the other day, Cia said something that made me think abit.
Is it better to be in or out of a relationship?
I think its better to be out, and though she didn't say it, I gathered she think it's in.
Well, so I thought...
When we were younger, say 14-15 when we haven't really been in a relationship (logically speaking) how then did we survive?
Why is it as we grow older, the need for dependency and companionship of someone you love becomes greater?

I've been missing the times in Melbourne lately..
Reminiscing is painful