Tired + sick

We walked to Balaclava.
And we chickened out.
Made a U-turn for home in the end.
The world is too much of a scary place for 2 forever-child.
I think we are, and never will grow up.
How sad.

Once again, its like looking into a snow globe.
Where the world goes on in a different setting.
Totally different from mine.

In that setting, girls my age are pubbing, having a whale of a good time.
Fun, confident, exciting.
I am still stuck.
We are still chickening out.
2 girls against the world.
We are fighting a losing battle.

Thank God pixie came all the way to my office (like right at the doorstep) today.
If she hadn't.
I would be home, sulking.
She forced me out.
And for the first time.
I felt so much better.

I am so dead though.
Tomorrow is my graduation.
Its 2 freaking am.
I am sick and still awake.
Screw it.

Barbie dear,

With each dispute.
Sometimes I feel very drained.
At others, I feel we gained something out of it.
Though something small.
At least we gain.
This is just one of those times, I feel drained, yet I think we gained.
And so I have learnt.
To always always just say what I am unhappy with.
It started with something small.
And it blew to something this big.
Coupled with PMS.
I am sorry.
But at the same time, I truly wish you will try harder as you said you would.
And so will I.

Please truly love me.
I don't believe in fantasies.
But this time. I really wish there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.