If looks could kill

If looks could kill

I would have shot dead like 10 NUS folks.
Yes, I am sore about the fact that NUS rejected my application.
I am sore about the fact that I never got the chance to receive education from Singapore's best university.
So sue me.

I am having the lousiest week.
Having just being majorly pissed off by my mood-swung boss, I wasn't just in the mood to entertain that grossly eager grin and pleading eyes.
Selling flags to raise money for fuck?

I remembered donating once when I was in AJ, praying that my 50cents would buy me a place in NUS.
But hell it did not.
(should have donated $1).

Looking back, that was such a bimbotic act.

How stupid can I get.
The more I donate, the more I would not get my seat in NUS.
For our money would probably go to scholarships offered to overseas students.
To fund overseas elites.
Whilst the Singapore strugglers (that is, me) get shunned.
I say probably. Because I have no fucking idea where the donations go to.

Not that I am complaining about my RMIT degree.
Nor am I saying SMU and NTU are not as good as NUS.
I just happened to yearn for a seat in NUS so goddamn much because I wanted to study geography and be a storm chaser.
Yes, literally a storm chaser, like the show Twister.
In fact, I was inspired to be a storm chaser because of Twister (the movie).
I had huge dreams.
Of studying about hurricanes, tornadoes, volcanoes, tsunamis, weathering and erosion and bla bla bla.
I love all that nature crap.
I loved Geography to bits.
I was going to work for National Geographic at least.
But, all because I screwed up my A levels.
All that fell apart.
Not that I didn't try hard enough to chase those dreams.
Perhaps some day, I might try once more.
But at that tender age, and NUS rejected me.
Imagine my broken heart.
Watching my dreams shatter into bits.

Bah.
So now that I am stuck in CBD chasing the paper storm.
And I studied nothing close to Geography (my love).
You bet your life I would not donate a cent to NUS.
And mind you, I wasn't just content with not donating.

I deliberately gave them that what-is-the-stinking-smell look, and rolled my eyes.
(LBB hates that rolling eyes.)
But since you are from NUS, since you were wearing yellow (awfully bright and cheery color for a horrid day), and was holding a tin can begging for money, you totally deserve that rolling of eyes and what-is-the-stinking-smell look.
Come to think of it.
I think its mean.
Rolling eyes and showing that face to a stranger.
But I am not one to live in regrets (like real).
And this is no exception.

Honestly, I am surprised, at how traditional NUS is.
Come on, look around you, silly asses.
Flag days are soooo yesterday.
Nobody donates that way anymore.
And even if they do.
Its usually in cents..
Seriously, how many of you would donate more than $2 to those pleading morons on the streets?
Ok, maybe I am just not particularly generous.
But for god's sake those tin cans are built for coins.
Even if I want to stuff a $10 note into it. It'll be quite a task ain't it?

Its time you folks learn from NKF

Start some charity drive, get your professors or alumni to pull some huge major TV charity program.
Get the students/professors/ex students/ janitors whatever.. to just sky dive off some building, or perform some amazing acrobatic acts, stuff your dean in a tank filled with ice and/or sharks, get your students to stand on top of each other and build the largest human pyramid bla bla bla.

Better yet, go get your ex students to cry on TV, and tell everyone how glad you were to have graduated from NUS. And how you benefitted from NUS, and that everyone should be given a chance to study in NUS.
And how students from NUS cannot live without that swimming pool. Or that they must live in hostels, and there aren't just enough hostels in Singapore. Or that the food in the hostels are so bad. So much so, we should all donate to the NUS fund instead of the Make Poverty History fund because donating to NUS is more worth the while.

Donate to NUS today, help us kill creativity and clone all Singaporeans alike.
Help every Singaporean receive a local education.
Better yet, support organisations who insists on students with a local good (fucking) degree.
Because contrary to popular believe only graduates from the local university can think and work hard.
Because graduates from the local university are the best.

Perhaps if I see those yellow clothed dumbasses tomorrow attempting to get me to donate I'd stop and ask.
So where would my 50cents go to?

If the answer goes along the lines of

1. for our student's benefits/help poorer students/scholarships
I would yell at them, and tell them I'd rather see a poor kid in Africa/China/insert any 3rd world country here eat rice than to see your students smiling.

2. Building/renovating our campus
I would yell at them, and tell them I'd rather see stray dogs live comfortably than to see you build more hostels.

3. Fund the China scholars, comfortable chairs and offices for our professors, more swimming pools for our students.
I would applaud you for your honesty. But still, I would rather see elderly living comfortably in nursing homes than to fund the scholars.

** Disclaimer: I don't particularly hate students from NUS. I am just having a real lousy day at work.
Really.

That aside, let me talk about my really lousy day.
It's so lousy, I was tempted to just take leave tomorrow and stay home to sulk and sleep.

I just hate it when people are selfish.
The world would be a better place if people on the train share more, and open up their newspapers and let your neighbours read together with you.
I mean, what is so wrong with sharing the page you are reading with the folks around you?
Afterall, it doesn't require you to strike up a conversation with your neighbour.
You are merely opening up your piece of interesting info and sharing the good of it with others.
I hate it when those dumb asses clam up the moment they realise their neighbours are peering over their shoulder reading your paper.
Loosen up will you?
Share share share can?

So I was caught.
Staring into the my neighbour's papers on the train.
And I think it was wayyyyy too obvious for comfort.
I can't help it, when I take a really long time reading chinese (antsy) words right?
They take a helluva long time to digest in my head.
And so I guess I stared too long to catch a small para.
Instead of the usual glance.
But that stingy lady next to me had to clam up the moment she realised I was staring.
Just when I finally got some of the words and comprehended it.
She lift me hanging.

Didn't help it when I looked up and everyone else seem to be reading the same paper.
I see lurid gossips are so ever famous.
All that juicy gossip about the ex-stewardesses throwing that poor girl off some block in Telok Blangah, all because the girl's father ditched her.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I shamelessly succumbed to it and bought The Newpaper, which is the best English tabloids paper.
Though I reckon The Newpaper is still not as juciy enough, as compared to the chinese one.
I'd have to settle for this.
I would rather breezing through tabloids in english, than to spend hours on a chinese paper.

Oh boy, the story's so interesting.
Worth every bit of my 70 cents (or was it 60cents?)
Makes you wonder, what people would do in that fit of anger.

Speaking of which.
I have a bruise on the back of my head.
LBB whacked me hard on my head.
Not that we are into kinky stuff.
But he whacked me on my head because I so nearly bit his thumb off.
And he was yelping in pain, and I just refuse to stop.
So perhaps this bruise is my fault.
But I paid for it alright.
I spent the entire afternoon wondering if a blood clot would form, and I would drop dead the next second.
Actually, I am still worrying about it now.
But its been like 2 days.
If I were to die from this supposed blood clot.
I would be dead by now right?

And I've come to a conclusion.
I am going to do something about my abusive behaviour.
No more violence.
I am going to be sweet once more.
Afterall, I am a sweetie pie.
Everyone thinks I am sweet.
Nobody suspects I am a violent boyfriend-beater.
Everyone seems to think that being violent is wrong.
Ok, I am coming to my senses now.

And I promise I will tone down.
Or at least try my best.

To a better (sweeter) me!

LBB; if I hear you say "ya right" I will be so sweet you die of diabetes.