Alvin

You know how sometimes memories invade you at the most unlikely times?

I was laying in bed, listening to the rhythmic snores of that fat ass.
When I was suddenly reminded of this person.
Not someone special, but someone worth remembering.

That someone appeared in a period of time, in which I hardly blog about, but its constantly at the back of my mind. It happened so long ago, yet sometimes the memories are still intact. I reckon its because that period of time was truly a very significant phase for me.

I started my first relationship at the age of 16.
O level's just ended and I was waiting for my results.
I use to think that starting a relationship young is good. Well, maybe in some ways I still think so now. Afterall, you learn tons along the way, and truly when you were young, you tend to be less skeptical towards the male species. Somewhat more naive.
I was naive. In some ways now perhaps I still am.

Anyhow, I started working my first temp job whilst waiting for my results.
I worked with my then boyfriend, his best friend and my rather good friend then.
We thought it would be f-u-n.
All of us working together in the same area.
Boy was I wrong.
Things made a 180degrees change thereafter, and were never the same again.

Because the supervisor then knew of my relationship.
She deliberately placed me and my then boyfriend in different shifts, with different off days.
I knew it was deliberate.
Because she said it was.

We were nonchalant about it.
Afterall, being the first relationship, I didn't know what to expect.

I was placed in the same shift as his best friend.
Alright, guys have little emotions, and though he never really expressed that he was his BEST FRIEND per se. I took it as he was. Afterall, he was his closet male friend, stayed over often. To me, that's what best friends do.

His best friend, (lets call him A) is not a good looking charmer.
Below average looks but possess a millon-dollar personality.
He is nice to a fault, really.

At that time, when we were 16-17, going home at 11-12pm for a girl was considered somewhat dangerous. (though now I leave my house at 11-12pm), but those were the days really, well for me at least. Anyhow, A being the truly nice bloke he is.
He would alight from his bus, walk me to somewhere near my place before grabbing a cab back (or the bus if he could make it).
He did all these willingly for a friend. (or rather, for his best friend's girl)
He would see that I reach home safe.
We didn't have mobile phones then.
But when he reach home, he would immediately page me to ensure I was truly safe.
During our lunch, he would look for me, and we'd have lunch together..
All that little stuff

Though we were rather close.
I never harboured any romantic feelings for him.
Not that he was not a good looking charmer.
But I was naively faithful in my feelings.
I truly saw him as a friend, a rather sweet one.
He was one of the first guy friend that I had. The one I could truly talk to about so many things, and also rely on.

We joked about it quite a bit then.
How he has to look after me for his friend.
And all these while, my then boyfriend was busy flirting.
I only realised this way after we broke up.

There was one particular incident.
I can't recall the details of it..
But I had enough of that relationship.
All that not seeing each other, him not really caring (because he entrusted me in his friend's care)...
I asked to leave.
I told him, and I told him all. About how unhappy I was that he would entrust me in the care of A, and go out with my friend (the one that was working with us then, in the same shift as him).
I can't remember how. But one thing led to another. And somehow A told someone else (in their group of friends) that he somewhat had feelings for me.

Things never became the same again.
I was devstated.
Really.
I truly saw A as a really good friend. Having feelings more than that for me, I feel is a betrayal to my trust and my friendship to you.
Of course my then boyfriend was furious.
They hardly spoke again.
Neither did I speak to A again, after that incident.

I find it a pity.
Because I trust you, and I see you as a really good friend, I trust that your kind actions are purely out of your care and concern for a friend.
Now that you confess to those feelings. I wondered, if you were nice because you already had feelings for me. Or you were nice because you truly are the way you are.

Though he was never a special someone in my life.
I always remembered him as the first male who was truly truly nice to me. Even more so than my then boyfriend.

6 years elapsed.
And I realised, he is really nice to a fault to his friends.
I am glad.
Over the years, occasionally when I needed his help. Not once did he decline.
Accompanying me to Sim Lim to help me get some gadget, driving to my place to pick up my computer to fix it for me.

But things will never be the same again.
We can never be the friends we once were.