A Snow globe

It was like looking into a snow globe.
The feeling is surreal.

The inside of the snow globe is oblivious to the world outside the glassed walls.
Perhaps they never knew the walls were made of glass.

Am I also living in a snow globe?
Are there glass walls surrounding me and the world I am living in?

I have long antcipated for this day
At the back of my mind, I have always envisioned how this day will look like.
I knew to the very last muscle, the way I was going to react, the facial expressions I was going to wear.
Even right down to the exact words I was going to say.

But when it finally happened, I never had the opportunity to say what I have always planned to say.
I never got to smile that plastic smile I practised a long time ago.
I cruelly just had to looked on as fate played it out this way for me.
I looked on from the outside.
Complete with that soft tinkling music that some snow globes come with sometimes.
You wind it up, and it plays that soothing music.

Don't be mistakened.
I don't yearn to be in that snow globe.
Not at all.
Not a slightest bit.

But it feels unreal, when I feel the serenity exuding from that snow globe.
For I believe I was once part of it.

It is strange to look into a snow globe knowing you were once from that place.
You once did the same things that are happening in that snow globe.
Watching it now seriously feels awkward.

A mix of emotions rushed towards me all at once.
And I am not sure which i should feel first.

How do you reconcile your feelings.
Of having to watch your past walking in front of you at present.
Someone you committed to the back of your mind.
Someone who became nothing but memories living life and you watch.

As I watch the globe.
I wondered.
How is it that I could love him once
And now, all that I feel is nothing.
All that is left is emptiness?

How could love be lost so easily?
The fragility of feelings.
Perhaps nothing is ever meant to be permanent really.

Will I one day have to watch you in another snow globe?
Just like I just watched someone in the snow globe?
Am I living also living in a snow globe?